If i gave you pretty enough words, would u paint a picture of us that works......

2007-11-03T11:27:00.000+08:00

This picture is taken during my trip to aceh. I tried to capture the picture of the sun setting. i guess i failed. this is my best attempt at taking a shot. Oh wells, it doesnt matter aniway.

I like to start my blog entry with a picture eh? ever realised that? i guess so. its so bland without any photo. Photos do cheer up things quite abit. :)

So lets start. Its a nice one week break from camp for me. I feel so exhausted right now. Ns has really drained everything thats in me. It's tough being a rifleman. During the training phase i mean. i really hope when we turn operationally ready, there will be less training and more rest.

But sitting at home is equally torturing. Things keep bugging me. i wouldnt say its a problem for me lah. The way i look at it, is more of a nuisance to me. Pathetic and sometimes childish. Its hard to understand what humans have up on the minds. We're definitely the most difficult creatures to understand. Same goes for me too. I dont understand myself sometimes. One minute you want this, the other minute, u decided to change your mind. maybe god created us in such manner to make us more interesting? haha. ok thats so random. Ive decided to ignore the person who decided to make himself a nuisance and somehow reveal his stupidity and childishness. Why shud we even bother lah kans. Grow up kid. I speak from my mind and i dont like bottling things up.

The fourth part is directed at you.

And yes yes.
To you Aisyah, im missing you alot =)

Kaer-Izinku Pergi

2007-11-03T11:26:00.001+08:00

2007-09-06T09:34:00.001+08:00

She's gorgeous ain't she? :) oh wells, she's Vanessa Hudgens from the High School Musical thingy. So yeah.

Aite, yesterday was the 16km route march. the next stage after the 12km route march. It was a test of physical and mental endurance. i admit i almost lost the battle, but i guess with the support from the rest, we managed to pull through to complete it. Next up will be the field camp- which is tomorow, followed finally by the peak of everything.. the 24km route march. POP is just 9 days away.. yey yey!! :P i really hope i can pull through this final stretch of the BMT phase.

So i think thats about it for now. im too tired to type more. ok bye!

2007-08-19T17:48:00.001+08:00

im really counting down to the days of my passing out parade. exactly 27 more days before that day. Approximately 4 more weeks of BMT. How time flies... It seems like just yesterday i was just being enlisted for the army. And i cant wait for it to end. When it ends, i am no longer a recruit. I'll be called Private Farhan. It sounds better than recruit.

For the last couple of months, life there has been full of ups and downs. I can never run away from frustrations, anger,blood,sweat and the feeling of happiness when i was able to accomplish something i never knew i could. I always mentioned how i hated army life.. but on the other side, it taught me lots of things too. Before this, i never knew where my limit is, but army life taught me to push my limits. And till now, i know.. ive not yet reached my limits. ok it sounds complicating.. :P

Well, i just did my 12 km route march,with full battle order. which means with the ''oh-so-heavy'' field pack, rifle and the Load-bearing vest. Not forgetting the helmet, boots and ur own body weight. It was really2 torturous . I have to focus on lots of stuff. The leg movement, constant changing of rifle slinging, the field pack and stuff. I wonder how 24 km would be like. I wonder if i will have any legs left.haha.

And yes yes, i just miss civilian life. Doing things i used to do like watching tv for hours and hours. But now, the daily routine is, PT everyday..Sian lehh.. but wat to do.. as the saying goes, ''Lan Lan have to serve mahh''.. means, no choice but have to serve..

ok i think thtts all for now. oh yes, i miss all my friends. we shall hang out sooner or later.. haha.

2007-07-22T16:50:00.001+08:00

I cant wait for my ns to finish, even tho im nt even 1 year into it. i just dont quite like army life. too many rules and regulations that i have to follow. And the fact that i have to sacrifice my civilian life for 2 years. some may say 2 years is nt a long time, but, every single min in camp is like hell. the daily strenuous trainings, marching, ''jumping jacks'', push ups and everything is driving me nuts. The process you have to go through every day is simply torturing. being an infantry man is never easy. the process that leads to it is simply tiring.

3 more hrs before i book in for camp. ive been trying to spend my off days doing something i miss doing while in camp like watching tv, playing games, hanging out and stuffs.. but i ended up not having enuff time to do it. it just sucks. i cant wait for bmt to end and i have the thought of asking for a post-out. get something like an 8-5 thingy. And yar, the best part is, Temasek polytechnic offer letter came to me after i have been enlisted for ns. geez! such a waste!

To farhana friend, i really hope things will eventually turn out well for you. i apologise but i cant seem to help you find a solution to your problem. he's just too complicated. im nt trying to make him look so bad though. its the way i look at the whole picture.

Hurt is the word to sum up everything. helping others when you yourself know you're helpless. its something kinda complicated. there's so much pain to bear seeing someone else happy when you know you crave for that too.

gosh! i sound so emo now..i'll stop for now.. =)

2007-07-07T14:09:00.000+08:00

yeah, there's a pretty obvious difference between the 2 pictures. besides the hair.. its my skin colour. its getting darker and darker. dang! its all due to the trainings under the scorching heat. i must say, the weather has been pretty weird this past few weeks. little rain and lots of heat.

oh wells, to summarise everything, army life is something of an eye-opening thingy. Not really splendid, but not really bad either. it depends on how u see things.. Trainings, marchings, running and etc, is something u'll get almost everyday in camp. something ive gotten used to. there's also ups and downs in a short space of 3 weeks. you gotta be physically and mentally prepared to go in. which i wasnt initially. im slowly building that up. with the help of my platoon mates, sergeants and my Commando Encik. so weird to see a Commando leading a batch of infantry men.

Something i really miss now is my civilian life. oh wells, its only 2 years.

goodbye

2007-06-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

ok guys, this will be my last entry for the moment. for those who is still clueless as to why? its because im leaving for National Service tomoro. im left with exactly 9 more hrs to go before i book in for camp.

everything seems so messed up in my mind at this point in time. i dunnow what to expect, i dunnoe how to react when i step into camp tomorow and i dunnoe if im really ready for NS. ok wells, the last sentence is kinda silly. because if u ask anyone who has been thru NS, whether they're ready when it comes to NS... all of them will say no. its orite..

i'll keep this short. i'll miss everything there is here. from my bed, to my three pillows. my family frens etc. i'll miss my bestie-liyana, farhana, pizza hut mates, nana and kentot

ape2 lar eh. i'll take things as it comes. thanks for all the advices and encouragements. i'll heed every one of it. i'll blog again once i book out. maybe 2 weeks from now.. :)

final day of work

2007-06-10T23:06:00.000+08:00

so yesterday was the last day of work. what a way to end it. before you readers jump to any conclusion, i have to say the final day of work wasn't a bed of roses. it ended up with me having to do all the dirty work. ok it wasn't that dirty lar. just that it was far more tiring den the previous days. Maybe it was also due to the weekends. you know, Saturday will always be a busy day especially with the school holidays and the recent GSS (great singapore sale). it was a very busy day with customers streaming in non-stop. and some of them had to be turned away. we were left with no choice as we were short-handed on staff and we cant accommodate too many customers.

I really pity some of my colleagues yesterday. they really had to slog it out yesterday. we had to do service, taking orders, clearing of tables and also delivering pizzas. it was hard to juggle all that. and the best part is, one of the computers,for us to key in our orders, broke down. so we were left with only one computer and that explains the late in orders and stuff. and to make it worst, there were only 2 pple doing kitchen. one of which was my manager. rabak kan. sigh.

when the day ended, we were really relived. it was finally over. i guess i felt better after work when my colleague nana accompanied me when i was oiling the pan for the pizzas(it wasn't supposed to be my job). thanks eh nana. if it was not for you, i would have thrown the pans and walk out of the store. she accompanied me till i was done with it. how sweet eh. :P

Like i mentioned in my previous post, i will miss all the guys and girls in pizza hut. you guys have been great friends to me. and i forgot to mention the managers, dev, precy and maria. thanks for everything. if time permits, maybe i shall return to pizza hut to see u guys.

well, thats abt it for now..

blogging in malay

2007-06-08T00:22:00.000+08:00

So hari ni aku nak blog dalam bahase melayu..hehe. Takkan asik nak speaking london je kan :) . so skali-skali nie nak cuba cuba plak blog dlm bahase melayu. Tapi it will be a mixture of melayu dgn english lar eh. Saje nak buat this entry macam lebih informal gitu. Kalau everything in melayu pon nnti mcm nmpk formal sangat. lagi tak kena. nanti orang kater jiwang lar, ape lar dot dot dot. the list goes on.

ok cukup lar opening speech aku. Aku nak carry on dengan post for hari ini. Hari ni cam biase. kerje as usual. cume kerje 2 jam je, sebab lepas tu have to run off for this course. padehal dah nak quit baru nak gy antar course. kadang2 aku rase manager aku nie mcm tak betol gitu. its really no use sending me to that course. reason dier nak tau ape.. ''every new staff has to attend the course'' dengan suare kepit dier and slang english dier. menyampah pon ader kadang2. Tapi kan fikir2 balek, nak tinggalkan tempat tu sedih jgk ar. baru nak kenal2 dgn member2 sane. people like ady, hana, nyza,linna,shida,shidi,nana,roza,adek,faizal dengan ajan. they're fun people ar. its just sad that i have to leave them because of NS. and they helped me alot. auntie yang kat sane? tak payah sudah. hehe. bnyak nagging je. its not that nak disrespect dorang or what ar. tapi kadang tu, macam lebih2 ar nagging dorg. Small little things pon nnti dorg kasi kau spelling macam kau dah runtuhkan tu kedai. binget kan. tapi takpe lar auntie, since this is aku nye last week, aku relek. tanak tunjuk attitude kat korangs. :)

well, even tho aku baru keje kat pizza hut like sebulan lebih je, aku rase it is an eye-opening experience for me ar. aku nampak macam2 kerenah manusia yang ader. their attitude kadang2 leh buat kau mcm nak cekik dorang atau amek botol chili sos den hantok kat kepala dorang. :P really, especially customers ar. so far yang aku takleh tahan foreign customers ar. yang orang putih ok. cume yang kite takleh take it klw customers yg indian atau filipino. dorang punye cerewet, kalah sak movie star. nak pizza tanak pineapple lar, pizza tanak daging lar, asal service slow lar and macam2 lagi ar. sape2 hot tempered atau ader darah tinggi mmg takleh keje sane ar. silap haribulan customer tu KO seh. and yar, ader tu confident, mintak order yang takde dlm menu. dorang kater kat negeri dier nye pizza hut ader tu makanan. darah UP lar seh. hehe. takpe macam tadi aku cakap, nie last week aku keje. so aku relek.

And yar, satu lagi hal. kadang2 aku tgk scary seh. 99% of budak2 keje sane smoke. (aku tak kire auntie2 yg ader kat sane lar. because obviously lar dorg tak smoke). i mean, why are they wasting their life seh by smoking. aku tau its individual preference that they want to smoke, but takkan dorang tak sayang diri kan. ok ar, smoking nie aku tak pasal sangat, maseh acceptable. tapi klw ader yang sampai nak ''tekan2'' sume. ape makne nye tu. kalau sape2 yg wondering ''tekan'' tu ape.. another word is cucuk ar. amek nnti kau gian. faham? yes, its happening to these 18-19 year olds.
Sometimes aku ader buat own self-reflection. Kadang2 tu aku fikir diri aku nie macam not that baik ar.tapi klw aku rase diri aku nie jahat, den dorang dlm category ape? care to help me? something i always think about. ntah lar eh.. i wonder how the future generations will be like. hopefully it wont be the same. Im not here to criticise my own race lar. just sharing my opinion on what's happening on the real world. no point hiding the fact. its happening everywhere. im sure u guys will agree with me. oh wells.

aku rase cukup lar untk hari ni. best plak blog dalam bahase melayu. macam lagi bnyk idea kluar. klw blog dlm english, nak kena find the right words. kalau tak it will sound so singlish. ok lar, entry nie pon kire rojak jgk ar. tapi its more easy reading. kan kan kan? sape agree angkat tangan. hehe. ok lar slamat malam :)

Work and some stupid dream

2007-06-05T13:52:00.000+08:00

Exactly 10 more days before National Service

Hmm.. i shall start today's entry with what happened at work yesterday. It was a normal day at work until some idiotic customers irritated me. They were basically foreigners-Indians- no offence to any indians out there. So back to the topic. Well, they not only irritate me, but the rest of my colleagues with their changing of minds when making orders. That really tested our patience. And they keep asking for glasses and glasses of plain water. And because of that, i broke one of the glass. yeah-ness.! one of my friend even joked that since it was my last week at work, im breaking everything there is. hehe. To make matters worst, i broke it in front of her and her friends. it was so embarrassing. i nearly uttered that F word. =p But hey, thanks for turning up. im sorry you had to witness that incident. Thats about it at work.

Hmm.. oh yes, funny eh how u can still dream about someone whom u have so much hatred for, now. it happened to me just last night. i dreamnt about Zetti. To save all the suspense, she was my ex bla bla bla. I didnt know why i even had that dream about her. Till this moment, i remembered clearly what the dream was all about. geez~ In case you are wondering why i hate her so much, just go back to my previous entries. somewhere in January. whatever lar eh zetti.
i shall end the entry here for now. Suddenly, i forgot everything i wanted to blog about. geez~

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world;
the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

George Bernard Shaw

something random

2007-06-03T21:58:00.001+08:00

The ideas seems to have dried up. i cant find a particular topic to blog about these days. When i was blog-hopping these past weeks, i realised, some people use their blogs to hit out on others. A place to let out all their displeasures, hatred and so on, on a particular someone or people in general. Well, as for me, im neutral about it. Im not really against it nor i am for it. Maybe these people need a place to voice out and express themselves. Well, if its kept within a certain limit, then i believe it is fine.

Moving on, im counting down to the days to national service. i still have more than one week to get myself prepared. And yes, im not prepared. both physically and mentally. Sometimes i would toss and turn in bed thinking how NS life would be like. You know, people have been giving us this bad idea of national service life. They have so many stories to tell when it comes to national service. But some of the stories are just plain make-up. I believe they're out just to scare the shit out of you. And remember the case where 2 NS-man died when they were tortured by their seniors? their head were dumped in water repeatedly and caused them to pass out and die. Scary uh. This was reported in the newspapers. Not a make-up. I just don't understand what was on their mind when they did that. oh wells, moving on..

There's so much i want to do before i go for my NS. One, get myself a PSP after receiving my pay. Two, Meet up with my friends and people i never had time for. Three, watch alot of movies, Four, go to the gym for some workout and running. And so on and so forth.
To miss farhana, the meet-up session we planned for, is it confirmed? update me on that. To the super-blur someone, are u dropping by Pizza hut? we'll see *smiles* . And lastly, to my best buddy, how are u getting on? it's been a while since i last hear from you. You..yes you!. hehs.

I just realised.. some people owed me something. Let me give you the idea what it's all about. One night, one soccer outing. Singapore VS Malaysia. Event: ASEAN Football Championship 2007. The bet: Singapore Win/Malaysia Win. I was rooting for a Singapore win. Outcome: Singapore Won. The task: Blanje makan! (in english its translated as A TREAT!) hahah. its been like 3-4 months? yes.im still waiting. To shimmy.. if ure reading this, remind your twin lar. haha. I thought its a deal mah. You,me, her. We both won what.. maybe she has treated you. but not me sia. not fair.! hahah.

Oh wells.. thts about it for todae. work as usual tomorow. not really looking forward to it. but looking forward to see whether someone really hold on to their words. hehs =P you noe what i mean.

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.

Surprise, surprise!

2007-05-30T12:38:00.000+08:00

Last week was a week full of surprises for me. Firstly, i passed my Final Theory Test (FTT) for driving, after just one try. hee. not trying to brag about it but it's something big for me. =) but unfortunately, i cant proceed with my driving practical just yet. And that comes the second part. i have received my enlistment letter =( yeah, i was hoping for it to come. but not this soon. i received it last Saturday and i have to book in like in 2 weeks time?? 15th June 2007. thts the day i'll be enlisted. i have been posted to the 2nd Battalion,Singapore Infantry Regiment (2SIR for short) So yeah, all plans of taking up driving practical has to be put aside.

There's so much to do, yet there's so little time. I must say the year 2007 has not been a good one for me. everything i hoped and want to do this year has to be either put aside or i have to forget it. the main thing i wanted to do this year was continuing my studies, which obviously i cant. then came the driving thingy. I was hoping to get my licence by the end of this year, but i guess, i have to put it on hold again. the thought of having my own PSP is still on top of the list of my buying list. but i have to forget about it for now. the reason being, im quitting work soon and obviously, i won't be able to save up enough for that PSP console. i have to cough out like 400 bucks for that PSP?? thts alot of money. and yar, driving practical will also cost me a bomb. so i currently have to forget about the PSP. haiz. if only i was rich and can get everything i want or maybe a kind soul who is very very kind enough to buy me that PSP? hee. =P oh wells, my main focus now is National Service. Other things will come after that. At least i have something to look forward to now. geez~

As for yesterday, i wont talk about work. coz, its one stupid day at work. so many fussy customers, one crappy manager and whole lots of other things. But i guess, it ended in a good way. someone managed to cheer me up and make me forget all the things that happened at work. she's cute, she's friendly and super-adorable. haha. it was nice being able to chat with her on the phone. well, you saved my day. blueks!

oh wells, i guess thats about it for now. looking forward to Friday. another soccer outing with ITE mates. its gonna be cool. yeah-ness!

2007-05-27T23:09:00.001+08:00

Graduation Day 2007- 23rd May 2007-

2007-05-24T13:09:00.000+08:00

even though Liverpool lost to AC Milan this morning, i was satisfied. im proud of Liverpool. They played well. but luck just wasn't on their side. Still, AC Milan deserved the title. And Liverpool will go home as proud losers. knowing that they have come a long way. And i'll still be a Liverpool fan 20 years down the road. :)

2007-05-24T00:42:00.000+08:00

yesterday was graduation day. it was ok. not too great, not too boring. i felt happy, given the opportunity to meet up with my former ITE Classmates. i really miss each and every one of them. when i see them, i just want everything to start all over again. i miss all the laughters and jokes we shared throughout the entire 2 years. even tho some jokes were kind of lame, it was cool lah. :) i don't have the pictures of the graduation ceremony just yet. maybe soon i'll put it up. oh wells, as of yesterday, im officially the first batch of ITE Sport Management students to graduate. im proud of it. hee.

hmmm. work was ok yesterday. with the exception of one fussy manager. she just cant stop spotting your mistakes. i met some new colleagues. they're all cool lah. in no time, we were friends. if i can remember well, their name is lina and nana. haha. cant really remember ar. it just adds to long list of Lina(s) and Nana(s) i noe. hehe.

and yar, am staying up for the night to catch the champions league final. i really hope Liverpool will win. :)

2007-05-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

yeah-ness!!. graduation day is just around the corner. but im still undecided as to what i am going to wear for that supposedly big occasion. black top with white tie? black top with red tie? black top wif orange tie? hmm.. options, options and more options. for the bottom, its basically confirmed. gonna be black pants and black shoes. it's nt much of a problem. oh wells, i shall just see.

I just came back from KL a couple of days ago. it was a long and tiring trip. going there by train is definitely not a good option. spending close to 9 hrs sitting, is definitely hard. sleeping was a problem. but luckily, during the journey home, my parents decided to opt for the one wif beds. i had a long and nice sleep. oh yar, went there just to send my sis. she's studying there. cool eh

Sometimes, i sit down and think. what is the next step? what am i going to do now? is there anything i can look forward to? the answers are basically negative. I really dont noe what to do now after ITE. i always thought after ite, there will be opportunities for me to further my studies. but when it didnt go that way, i was simply lost. i wasnt prepared for this. i was caught off guard. shit happens when u least expected it. seeing my frens in school makes me envy them. how i wished i had that opportunity. hmmmm

and yar, sometimes i would sit back and recall all the things i let slip. i was rather stupid. if someone goes that extra mile just to bake u a cake for ur bdae, what wud you do? i was stupid enuff to not notice. and now, she's no longer in singapore. i dun noe wat got into me. some things are just so complex. hmmmmmmmmm

2007-05-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

it has all been work, work and work for me this week. truth to be told, i dun quite enjoy working life. it's not about the workplace or the people there, it's just that im not prepared for working life. i dun see a point working now besides just having some pocket money. or maybe for experience sake.but i dun like doing something which have no relation to what i have studied. it doesn't interest me at all. i miss school. and this might sound crazy but i miss studying. yeah, it wasn't the case a few years back whereby studying was never in my mind. all i wanted to do was enjoy myself and waste my time with things which are of no purpose. good thing i realised it now than later. im just hoping the enlistment letter will come real soon.

Tomorrow will be another long day for me. im already expecting it. since its the weekends, im sure they will be lots of pple patronizing that restaurant where im working. dang. one thing i really forward to about work is after work. thts where everybody will let their hair down and relax. we will go around shouting and blasting the music on our handphones. it's really cool stuff. my manager is one cool dude. =)

well,i guess i shan't complain about how much the workload there is for me to do now. coz its better this way rather then i sit at home and rot. oh wells, to anyone who's feeling down lately, cheer up aite. =)

2007-05-08T11:50:00.000+08:00

work started yesterday. it was one heck of a hectic day. even though there weren't many customers, bt there were tons of work to do. customers were basically nice people with the exception of some fussy ones. i hate taking orders. maybe nt for the time being. there's too many to remember. i have to read up on the menu everyday. besides that, everything was good. the people there are nice people. made new friends in no time. thanks guys for helping me fit in.

Going back from werk is pretty scary. hehs. u just have that feeling someone is watching you from somewhere. i had the chills yesterday. the cabin of the mrt was almost empty and i was alone in one of the cabin. pretty scary uh. and for the bus home, i was the last one to alight.

oh well, work as per normal todae. 4-10 pm. supposedly off, but manager wants me to cover for someone. ermm. guess thats abt it for todae. =)

2007-05-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

Everything seems so mundane nowadays. i cant seem to find anything to do which is of my interest. Jobs are not coming and school is definitely off the list for now. Hanging out with old friends is also not in my schedule because of the fact everyone's busy slogging out on different things. Well, im trying another shot at job interviews this weekend. i think i have no choice but to do it till i get my enlistment letter. Im astounded as to how free my schedule is now. it wasnt the case a few mths back when im still spending time in school. during that time, my schedule was so hectic, sometimes i didnt even have time for myself. come to think of it, i miss being busy. i miss being in school. i miss hanging out in school. and i miss all those crapping. =)

Well, the champions league semi final is over. and Chelsea, supposedly the ''strongest'' team in that competition has been knocked out by Liverpool. *grins* And another team knocked out was Manchester United. Many football fans around the world was anticipating an all-English final, but it wasn't to be. AC Milan- the team which beat them- simply outclassed them. im ecstatic my favourite team, Liverpool got through. ok maybe to those non-football fan, this paragraph will be redundant to you guys. =)

Moving on. i finally got to chat wif that Farhana after such a long time. hehs. when was the last time?cant remember. and that someone's got a boifee-to-be ehh..haha. im happy for you. =P hope the skies will clear and bring away the dark clouds that has been surrounding you all these while ey. *cheers*.

think i'll just keep this post this short. coz i cant seem to find any thing to blog about todae. no particular issue. so long. *cheers*

2007-04-29T22:38:00.000+08:00

hrmm.. so much has been through my mind this past few hrs. it got me thinking.

Platonic Friendship. Hrmm, big word indeed. Well, yesterday.. i had a long chat with my best buddy Liyana. Something we had not been able to do for such a long time. Mainly because of clashes of schedules. I really miss talking to her. the constant disturbing and making fun of each other is still there. it was a nice thing. She complained about me not sms-ing her regularly and during chatting sessions, i was being too harsh on her. (well babe, i was just kidding) Ok well, the reason why i didnt sms her much more than i used to was because of the fact that she's attached now. i just didnt want unnecessary misunderstanding to happen between herself and her bf. but i guess, different people react to a situation differently. I think her bf is not keen about her having a guy as her best buddy. even tho i find it pretty lame, but i think i understand him. Any guy will feel insecure, knowing that his girl's best buddy is a guy. There were alot of times when i wanted to ask her out, just to chill out and catch up on things. But i did not follow up on the idea, because something just stops me. i really miss hanging out with her. the last time we met was back in december. yeah. that long. hmm, well, im actually caught in the middle right now. At one side, i really wanna enjoy my time wif my best buddy and have fun and on the other side, i dun want her guy to think that im taking advantage of the situation. its kinda hard.

Is this what platonic friendship is all about? Does friendship only restricts relationships between the same gender? Cant you have a best friend- whom you'll share all your happiness, your sadness and interests and she's a girl?

Some things just got me thinking. And for some things, you just wont have any answers to it.
And to top it all of, some things are better left unsaid.........

the times in aceh.. flashbacks

2007-04-29T14:05:00.000+08:00

2007-04-28T00:23:00.000+08:00

I wish upon a star
that no matter how far apart you are
you are close in my heart.

I wish upon a star
that no matter how long its gonna take for you
to know how strong this feeling is for you,
You'll understand one day.

I wish upon a star
that god will give me the opportunity
to let you know,
How much i feel for you.

I wish upon a star
that if one day my time is up
and i am never able to see you again,
You'll know how strong my love is for you

2007-04-27T02:55:00.000+08:00

the clock in my room shows 3:00 am. and here i am again blogging. as usual, i cant sleep. recently, ive been staying up late, be it to watch live football matches on tv or just cant sleep. Sometimes i think i sleep too much during the day and that is why i have alot of trouble catching some sleep at night.

Boredom has never been this bad before.its the worst kind of boredom ive ever experienced. i really hope it'll go away soon. and for that to go away, i have to find a job. its not that i did not go out to seek for jobs, but its hard to find jobs now. its because of NS and they cant offer me that contract. think ive mentioned this at my previous entry. well, aniwaes, i really hope the letter from the police force will come soon so that i could be enlisted for the police. i'll be really happy if i get into the police. i have always wanted to be a police officer since i was a kid. when i was a kid, i will always play act and become a police officer. maybe it just runs in the blood. my dad is in the traffic police, my grandfather was a police officer too, my aunt is a police officer and the list goes on. i think i will join the long list of the history of the family becoming a police officer.

when i looked back at my schooling days, sometimes the feeling of regret is there. i was brilliant during the kindergarten days. scoring high marks every time. i was always among the top three in the class. then, the first two years of primary school was still a good one for me. it was during primary 3 that my grades started to go down. its mainly due to the group of frens i always hang out wif. not that i blame them. but if only i knew how to prioritise, maybe i would have done well in my PSLE examinations. when i scored an average score for my PSLE, it amazed me that it doesnt affected me for long. i knew i disappoint my parents, but i moved on quickly. So, off i went to secondary school. i was in the express stream and was stucked at Junyuan Sec for 4 years. i must say it was a very tough journey. its a totally different kind of situation. new things comes in. smoking, girls, relationships,gangs,conflicts,etc. everything is there. u just have to be both mentally and physically strong to go thru it. i wasnt the best of students during my stay at junyuan sec. i scored low grades and still it didnt wake me up. i was more interested in relationships and wasting time. true enuff, i didnt do well for my O levels. it was the second time i screwed up and disappointed my parents. That failure finally had an impact on me. i was fortunate, god made me realise the importance of education.

Ive completed my two years of ITE education at college east simei. ITE life has taught me alot of things. i get to see different kind of people. i see some who is much much older than me still studying. it really made me sit down and think. what if that were to happen to me one day. it made me realised more. im very relieved i didnt screw up for the third time. i passed every exams and finally i get to feel the happiness of getting good grades. its all worth it. the sacrifices of time u made for projects and studying. If only i realised it earlier. as the saying goes, ''time and tide waits for no man".. you cant possibly go back. you can never undo what you did in the past, but you can instead mould your future. im really fortunate to have parents and siblings who never gave up on me. they stuck with me thru thick and thin. its only right that i do my part now in giving it back to them. and frens too. the frens who never fail to give me advices and motivation. i dunnoe what i will be now if they were to give up on me long time ago. maybe i'll turn to stupid things.

Some things just makes you wonder. What if i wasnt what i am in the past.....

2007-04-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

Have you seen him?

what hurts the most- video

2007-04-25T15:16:00.001+08:00

2007-04-23T21:25:00.000+08:00

i stood in front of your grave,
with endless flowing of tears.
with red roses,
which has always been your darling.
i never realised time was not on our side.

when i look at the pictures
it brought me back to the old times.
the time when i first met you.
the exquisite smile on your face
and the alluring eyes.
the feelings came
and it happens naturally

the frequent dates i had with you
was always special
filled with exhilaration
and elation.
you never fail to surprise me
and make me feel elated.

you were always there for me
through thick and thin
during my darkest hours
and darkest moments.
we shared together
the happiness
we have always longed for.

not having you by my side,
is the last thing on my mind.
your absence was hard
it hit me hard.

if i had a chance
i really wanna tell you
how much i really love you.....

2007-04-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

i really wanna play rugby again. i miss the sport. Getting into those nasty tackles, cuts, bruises, broken bones, fights, kicking on the face. its all in the game. i miss all those things about rugby. it just makes you want more. when you get into those tackles, u just wanna give em back to your opponents. you wont really mind about the cuts, blood and all. well, pain is temporary..glory is forever. ;)

oh well. maybe you guys will wonder why in the world that im kinda emo nowadays. hehs. well, to be honest, i kinda like writing poetry. it gives me the opportunity to share my feelings and experience through a different way. i rather write poetry than go straight at it coz its nicer that way and i wont hurt anyone in the process. =) Love poetry is what i do best. it doesnt necessary has to be in relation to what im going through. sometimes, i write about what i see around me. and on the topic of love, there's alot of breakdown to the meaning of love. doesnt mean just about love between a guy and a girl. right? ;) I used to keep one whole book of poetry. but i wasnt sure whether it's lost or i gave it away. if i did give it away, i tink it has already been thrown away. such a waste uh? well, i thought i could share it with someone else. but when things didnt turn out well, everything is thrown away..

hmm..well, still thinking about what to write for my next poetry. no ideas for now. care to share any ideas which i can consider? well, sometimes when you have lots and lots of ideas and you really wanna write it, you dont have the luxury of time. and when you do, you already forget what you wanted to write. it happens to me all the time. :)

thts about it for today.. by the way, anyone already guessed who's that little girl i have always been mentioning in my blog? if you do, tag at my blog. we'll see who gets it right. go figure! those who gets it right, lunch is on me! no joke.hehs

2007-04-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

love is like the wind.
you can feel it..
but yet u cant see it.

you give me the jitters
when i see you.
and when we talk,
my heart beats fast.
i cant control it.

when i look into your eyes
i always see something.
something which i myself cant explain
a special feeling worth remembering

when i see you
i wanna touch you
i wanna hold you tight
and never let go

i wanna be that person
to cheer you up
when youre down
when youre sad
and even when youre happy
i wanna be that person
who'll put the smile on your face everytime
and everyday.
i wanna be that person
whom you'll look out for
at your darkest moments
and at your darkest hours
going through it together...

the feeling is just too strong
i cant fight it.
and i cant force it to go
i cant let it go.
even though you're far,
you're near in my heart.

A chance
thts all im asking for
to prove to you
that everything is true

Superman

why i love you

2007-04-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

I've never seen you
Or touched your skin
I've never felt your lips
Or held you tight
But I know I love you

Not because of the way you look
Or because of that voice
Not because of the things you say
But because of whom you are

When we meet I will kiss you
And hold you all night

I love everything about you
Because it's you

just for that little girl

2007-04-17T22:59:00.000+08:00

i never knew that boredom can be this bad. its even worst than after O levels. No school to look forward to, no jobs, no outings. my daily routine has been the same for the past few weeks. it really gets on my nerves sometimes. Tried looking for jobs but to no avail. i cant hold down a job now because of NS. And yea, i applied to be enlisted for the police force last night. i basically made up my mind to join the force. if my application is approved and i passed the rounds of interviews, i'll be a police officer. hehe. maybe im gonna take up part time studies too. i have a bad record of trying to juggle between work and studies. but i hope it works out this time.

if only i could turn back time. I would love to go through school once again. 2 years were soooo fast. it seems as though it passed with a blink of an eye. all the memories. classmates. conflicts. teachers nagging.cafe 1. chicken rice.western foods.teh peng.teh susu.haha.stupid jokes.pranks.not attending class.haha everything about ITE College East Simei is still fresh in my mind. one experience i will never ever forget. one of the best things that has ever happened in my life. i wonder how it will be like 10 years down the road. im sure we'll still laugh about it. lets hold a REUNION! hehs. oh well. 23rd may2007 is the day. GRADUATIONS!!

hey little girl. i miss you truckloads.the feelings are still the same.it never changed.it never will.nothing will change that.if only u knew.if only u understand.

2007-04-16T12:47:00.000+08:00

Boredom strikes again! There will be no school for me from now till i dun noe when. Apparently, i cant get into the polytechnics this year. And now i have to make a decision which i wished was alot easier. I have to either go for my NS first, Wait for the next poly intake which is april next year or join the october intake this year..BUT not having to do the course of my choice. gosh! tough decision to make. there's both pros and cons to all the options. haish. my 2 buddies, hazmi and muz have already started their school term todae. how i wished i was there with them today. but i think there's a high chance i'll be doing the national service first. get it over and done with. oh well, i'll see how it goes then.

and to my bestest of the best buddy Liyana.. ure missed by Superman. hehs. So cute of you to give yourself a nickname.. Cookie Monsta!! hehs. i have something in mind when it comes to ur burfday. the cutest gothic chic ive ever met. =P

im stucked for now...........................................................................

2007-04-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

Results are simply superb. Finally, ive reached the 3.0 mark. my actual GPA is 3.109. Its an improvement from 2.6 to 2.7 den 2.9 and now 3.1. Hehes. Im so happy. Next up, aiming to get to that polytechnic. waiting for the appeal results. it never stop ey. after results, its waiting for school. geez. school will start in a week's time and im nt enrolled yet. i hope god will answer my prayers for the second time.

Moving on..... i just finished watching the movie ''A walk to remember''. Its a very sweet movie. I swear i love it. :) How i wished that kind of thing exist in the real world. In the world where hate, jealousy and hurt seems to be controlling mankind. asshole. Even tho his love eventually died at the end of the movie, i must say its alrite. at least he gotta spend each and every single day of his life wif her. And yar, she's just the kind of girl im looking for. perfect. simple, sweet and has that inner beauty. (orite anyone who reads this can laugh if u want. but if u dun agree to wat i sae, u just buzz off. ure a shame to humans.)

oh well. im really missing someone now. its been a while since we last met. . miss her truckloads.. My little girl...

2007-04-03T23:52:00.000+08:00

Hoping for the best tomorrow.
really hope to get good results.
No matter how slim the chances are.
I knoe i will be able to get into that place.
Im gonna fight for the place.
Please help me dear god.
Only u can help me at this stage.
there's no one else i can turn to except u.

oh well, counting down the hours
to the release of the results..
the nervousness has reached boiling point.
oh geez.. i really hope it will turn out good.
i really need to redeem myself.
i wanna show pple, i can study
and get good results.
move on to a higher level.

430 am

2007-04-03T04:30:00.000+08:00

its 430 am in the morning.. and here i am still awake.. i dun noe why i cant sleep till this point in time.. i guess its the coffee i had at my grandma's earlier... oh well, i tink i'll be heading to bed soon.. i'll try and force myself to bed even for a couple more hrs..

Results is in 2 days time.. and seriously, im nervous..very nervous to be precise. i cant wait for it and at the same time, i dun want it to be revealed..haha. im afraid i dont do well and cant go on wif my studies in poly.. oh well, i guess i already hav to postpone my studies for the time being to serve the nation first. coz apparently, some pple in RP told me there's no more place left in that poly. which i feel is a load of rubbish. i think she's just plain lazy to give me the damn form to get into that place. nvm, when the results comes out, we'll see what happens..

well, im nt sure abt my plans for the whole mth of april.. im really broke nowadays.. i really haf no mood to go out.. oh gosh.. how i wish im in school rite now.. i miss ITE SIMEI!! hehs.

2007-03-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

i miss aceh.. its almost a year since we left aceh.. i really miss that place.. it taught me alot of things abt life there.. ive learnt to appreciate life more.. :)

2007-03-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

we always like to rewind the best part....
we never really like to press the ''play'' button
the fact is, we never really moved on...
in fact, we're scared to move on..

we always tell ourselves..
''im so over him/her''
but inside, we know, it's never true..
we keep playing back all the memories
the past...
even when we're with someone else

and the cause from all these things..
we hurt others..
incidentally, coincidentally or even on purpose
we never really realised..
with it,
we brought together lies and made up stories
pretending or even trying to love the other person.

But we know, we will never succeed
cause deep down, we realise..
we never really moved on..

sorry seems to be the hardest words...

~Farhan Superman~

something to ponder

2007-03-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2007-03-23T12:15:00.000+08:00

<3 Hayley Williams

i have to take back my words.. im falling for her..ahaha

2007-03-22T21:50:00.000+08:00

Ive lost interest in almost everything....

Things like:

1) Having Special Relationships -> basically to fall in love
2) Reading books
3) Watching TV
4) On the phone for hours and hours
5) MSN-ing

So yeah.. to sum up everything.. ive lost everything which seems interesting to me in the past... Expect a different Farhan to appear this coming weeks, months or even years.. until i get over all the points mentioned above....Lets bring back the old Farhan.. to be honest, i was a very nasty person in the past..sometimes it doesnt pay to be nice and kind..well, thts it.. ;)

Shima, my gum gum... Ure missed rite now by Farhan Superman =) and my best buddy too Liyana.. miss u bestie.. =)

2007-03-21T11:46:00.000+08:00

Blogging has become something important for me nowadays.. I just have the urge now to update my blog entries like once every two days. hehs. Its different from before where i would update it like once every 2 mths..

Woke up this morning in the middle of dream which is coming to a climax. Thanks mum. Its no dirty dreams .. I dreamnt about my ex in secondary school.. yeah.hehs. It goes like this... I came back to my secondary school to get some stuffs.. Then, suddenly i saw this familiar sight, crying. As i look closely, its my ex.. she was crying.. i didnt noe for what reason though. She was juz about to tell me when this happens ''Farhan!! wake up!!'' i went like omigosh! hahah.. cant you like wait mummy?? In that dream, she was about to hug me u noe..haha.. you shudnt have stopped that from happening mom.. Anti-climax sehh.. how i wished i noe the ending to it...

Oh well..enough said. im going out later to submit my application for a part-time job at Sentosa. im applying for the Luge Skyride job as an operator.. how cool if i can get that job. Dont mind the distance as long as the pay is good and the working days are flexible. Hope i do get the job.. if nt, i have to settle for jobs i might not like... :[

And yar, to that someone involved in ur drama thingy, good luck for this friday aite.. I try and make it if i can. No promises ok.. have to look into my schedule. :]

**things that happened nowadays doesnt seem to make sense..humans are definitely hard to understand*

2007-03-19T23:33:00.000+08:00

I'm not okay
You wear me out

2007-03-18T20:25:00.000+08:00

it has all turned to nothing..
history repeats itself over and over again.
sick and tired of it.
miracles don't happen..
its just a myth..

in the midst of giving up..

well...
lets just end this.....

If Only You Knew

2007-03-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

How i wish i have that extra courage to say.....
Say something i have kept for some time...
Things are not as simple as it may seems to be.....
A friendship i do not wish to break...

If only hearts can be read..
If only u can see whats on my mind...
If only things can happen the way i want it to...
If only u understand what i want to say....
If only you knew....

It hurts the most..
When you are close...
And never knowing...
That loving you...
Was what i was trying to do......

If only hearts can be read..
If only u can see whats on my mind...
If only things can happen the way i want it to...
If only u understand what i want to say....
If only you knew....

~Farhan Superman~

:)

2007-03-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

Life can be hard on you sometimes.. or maybe every time. Life is never a bed of roses.. The world is full of hate, anger,deceit, hypocrisy and the list goes on and on... sometimes i sit back and think.. why is people created to have that kind of feelings? Why would a human being want to hurt others, when they dun have anything that they can boast about. Humans are all the same... they're small in the eyes of the creator.. yet, they feel they own the world.. as the years goes on.. as the world gets even more technologically advanced, humans forget their roots.. its really a sad thing.. And as humans become more intelligent, they get stupid each day.. They can brag about their intelligence to people, yet when it comes to the smallest of things, they forgot and incidentally, it showed their stupidity..

~Comes to think of it, i smiled... life can also be stupid sometimes~

yeaaayyyyyy!!!

2007-03-14T22:47:00.000+08:00

todae was greatttt.. simply great!!.. soccer at St Wilfred is definitely grrrreeaattt.. the field u shud really consider if u wanna play soccer..the artificial turf makes u in the mood for a real kick around. Looking forward for more soccer outings at St wilfred... gonna make this a monthly thing.

Aite back at home, things are back to normal. bored as usual.. watched the movie over the hedge yesterday.. ( im outdated i must say) the movie rocks man.. its cute and the whole story line is good. for those who has not checked out the movie... u really shud. blood diamond is next.. if i haf time, i'll go watch it..

So fridae is the day that im gonna go find work. Hopefully its a success coz i dun wanna spent the rest of the mth rotting at home.. thts bullshit.. sitting at home and doing nothing is not my thing..

Its kinda bored going online tonite.. only if that naza was here.. hey girl... ure greatly missed by Farhan Superman u noe.. heeess. 3 things i really missed at this point in time:

1) My best buddy Liyana
2) The super crazy/super sweet Nazaa
3) ITE College East Sport Management..

till then....

New Blog SKin!! YeaAYY!

2007-03-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

ok here is my new skin... thanks to nazaaa.. must give credit.. aniwaes, im nt quite sure why the posts are all gone.. but its better.. so pple who juz found out abt my blog wont noe my past histories..hahaha.. i love this new skin.. thaaanks sweets.. im gonna posts more soon :)

2007-03-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

2007-03-04T14:36:00.000+08:00

ok due to some problems signing in to blogger.com.. i wasn't able to update my entries. im glad todae's fine..i can oreadi update my blog

Well, ive been feeling sooo heavy nowadays.. because of the fact that i ate alot. i can eat up to 3-4 meals a day. My friend reminded me of this saying '' if ure eating alot, means ure happy.. really really happy''... i dunnoe whether i shud believe that but i tink its true lor.. ive been feeling very happy for the last couple of weeks..

aite so yesterdae went out wif the lovely nazaratul farhana..hehh. decided to accompany her to send her creative mp3 player for servicing. after sending that mp3 of hers for servicing, we decided to go food-hunting coz she was damn hungry. she wanted to eat at cavana sooo badly. but i tink its juz not her day.. we went round and round the mall and we cant find the eating place. we ended up eating at one of the food junction at marina.. it was a cool place though.. nice view of the esplanade.. so basically we juz walked round and round there and suntec. i got myself a new SUPERMAN tee..haha.. i love it.. sorry eh naz i dragged u all the way dere juz to get that t-shirt.. hees.. well, after all dat, went back to tampines where i had to sent her to work.

well, yesterday on a whole was a greaaatttt and splendid day! i had a nice time... hoping for more outings wif that girl... rite?? hee..

aite till den... =)

2007-03-01T11:07:00.000+08:00

SOme of the pictures we took during our outing at Sentosa last saturaday.. it was really fun and i really do enjoy myself alot hanging around wif these guys.. u guys rawk man! ..hahah

2007-02-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

so damn tired todaeee.. mainly because i didnt sleep yesterday nite.. stayed up the whole nite juz to watch the soccer match. I thought the liverpool-barcelona game was on todae.. but it was scheduled the next morninggg.. well, i was grateful that i was able to watch 4 matches at 4 different msian channels.. thats a grrreaatt! but ended up watching the stupid man utd game.. sorry man utd fanss.. i juz hate them larr.. huhuhu..

Well...hours before the game, i really didnt noe wat to doo.. ended up watching movies online and chatted wif some frenss.. it did help to kill time though..before i knew it, it was already 330.. time flies soooo fast nowadays.. and its really really scary..

as for school todae.. it was a normal day.. but its kinda like a wasteful trip coz my lecturers didnt teach aniting... aniwaes, ms jean koh.. thanks for the ang pow..it was really thoughtful of u. and yar, u look beautiful in ur cheongsam..hahah..

Well aniwaes, there're three things im looking for in the month of march.. firstly.. Farewell party for the Sport Management Seniors..hahah.. all expenses paid by the school.. fuhh.. first time sia the sch has beenn soooo generous to us.. tht shows the lectures and director of business school loves us seniors..hahah.. So juniors. u got alot of catching up to do to meet the standard we seniors have made..hahah.. kiddings lar.. no offence yar .. Aite.. Secondly, Graduation.. after 2 long years, finally im moving on from ITE.. there's like a couple more weeks left before graduation.. im having mixed feelings.. sad and happy.. ITE really has taught me alot of things.. im grateful to get a chance to be here.. Thirdly, i cant wait for Prom Nite.. hahah.. i juz cant wait for itt..

hrmmm..i guess thats about all for today..running out of ideas....

*im moving on... im tired of waiting for you..*

2007-02-15T21:23:00.000+08:00

So school was as per normal todae.. scheduled to start at 12. bt den, as usual, late lorr.. reached school around 1210-1215 liddat. wasnt sure.. has always been late since the start of the second semester. i was never early for class this semester.. the nearer i am to my graduation, the more ''slack'' i become. it worries me sometimes.. but i kept doing it over and over again.. but hey, im nt the only one hu's always late.. 99 percent of my classmates also comes late for class.. haha.. really.. ok watever. Today was abit sucky though.. came to school for juz 1 hr plus.. coz the other lesson was cancelled. so its kinda like a waste of time.. initially, we planned of jogging at the school track.. and after that tot of eating at simpang bedok.. but haish, plans were cancelled at the last minute.. ended up window shopping at tm wif idris and linda.. tell u.. its freaking booorrriinnggggg!!! when i reached home, i did nothing else but sleeeeeppppp! how boring can that be.. lately, i kinda like hate sleeping. besides only at nite which i have to. but when if i were to sleep in the evening, stupid dreams appears.. not the dirty2 dreams lar.. u noe memories of pple juz came back.. blerghh!

Well, i was soo damn pissed off wif myself yesterday.. ok,its been known that i dun celebrate valentines day.. but i bought some things for someone.. tht particular someone.. bought for her a bracelet wif her name engraved on it, a box which i made wif lots n lots of paper hearts inside.. but do u noe where that things ended up? in the school dustbin.. haishhh.. i dunnoe lar, i juz wasnt confident that she will take the gifts.. it may sound stupid but, i did wat i tink was right. can go on any further...........................................................

im done for todae... *regrets regrets regrets*

2007-02-10T16:54:00.000+08:00

Yes yess! dats my new watch.. the new limited edition adidas watch..hahah.. i fell in love wif it the first time i saw it.. hehe..

I juz love my new adidas watch!.. =)

2007-02-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

For todaee... went to East Coast Park for some cross country event organised by my school.. volunteered to do soo just to kill time..haha.. some said i was silly to do dat when i can sleep longer at home..but dunnoe lar.. i dunnoe why im super ''hardworking'' these past few mths.. besides to kill time, went there for the CCA points.. need it badly so as to help me enter poly in a couple of mths time.. or maybe less than dat.. RP and NYP..still nt decided yet on where i wud further my studies.. lots of negative things heard abt both Schools.. dunnoe whether its true.. well, im so nt gonna get worried abt that.. wait till wen im abt to graduate.. So tmrw will be goin for NYP Sports and wellness interview.. nt prepared for aniting.. i juz knew abt the interview like 4 to 5 hrs ago.. hell man.. juz hope things will go on smoothly..

Well. back to the cross country thing.. was told to report at 8.. reached sch at ard 750.. wif the ever crazy hazmi..haha.. but u noe wat, got on the bus only at 830 plus plus.. its normal actually. soo used to the way ITE works.. if they say start at 8.. at 9 den start.. janji melayu arr..hahah.. ok so fast forward the story... wen reached there.. was fortunate to get the officials tee.. was nice lor.. Black.. my fav colour.. pity those helpers hu came later.. cant get it.. nenenenenene..haha.

So when the race started.. i was stationed near the OBS camp site.. was sooo bored sehh.. alone.. the rest was scattered at other places.. i fell asleep for like 10 mins.. but it was a nice experience larr.. saw different kinds of pple... the weird ones... the nerdy ones... the ah beng ones.. the matreps.. minahreps.. and lots more ar.. noe wat, some ran wif their sch uniform.. i was like wth?? its a cross country.. they're like running away from sch sia.. they brought their bags along..hahaha.. den got this one grp.. came running at me.. den took pictures wif me..haha.. funny sia.. sooo kecoh.. and one ran wif his helmet..hahah

Well after the whole event ended.. went makan wif Ian, ikha, and two other juniors.. initally there were like 6 of us.. but 2 left..coz cannot take the lonnnngggg walk to mcdonalds.. we walked from one end to the other.. but i was fortunate lor.. talk2 to that ikha.. didnt really feel the distance.. At mac.. saw lots and lots of students.. JCs and some sec sch students.. alot of cute JC students..hahah.. saw one of my jc fren.. Again, met her at a place i didnt expect.. as always rite.. ;) after eating.. walk2 ..then talk2.. lots of gossiping..hahah.

overall..it was a nice dayyy

*u left me dead*

*someone.. pls bring me back to life*

2007-02-07T23:24:00.000+08:00

Bollocks to valentines day....

I just love that phrase....

Anyone wanna be my anti-valentine partner.....

Found this on a cool webbie...

hahaha..

2007-02-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

Hasnt been updating my blog for the past few weeks as i was busyyy and was recently hospitalised for four Freaking dayssss.. yess the most boring 4 days of my entire 18 years living in this beautiful world...hehs. Basically the doctors told me i had a small hole in my lungs.. surprise surprise!! its trueee.. i have a le in my lungss. whoooohooo! and the best part is, the doctors didnt noe wats the cause.. kudos to them.. hahah.. and yarh, i dun smoke.. never touched a single cigarette before.. but yet the hole is there.. how ironic... well, i just take this as a test from god... i wont get too stressed up wif this.. even if one day the doctors gonna tell me im nt gonna have much time, i will still carry on wif life as usual.. Life is tooo beautiful to give up.. and everybody will die.. its juz a matter of when its gonna happen. I hope future xrays dat i will be going thru will bring positive results...

Lately, been doing lots and lots of thinking... why must people hurt other people??. be it hurting their feelings, hurt them physically or even for dat matter, take their lives awayy... arent this world created for mankind to live happily? haiz~ sometimes people are juz so so selfishhh to the extent of hurting other people... for them, hurting people is like having their daily meal... something they cannot miss.. the world is beautiful, yet cruel.. i had my share of hurt tooo ... loads and loads of negative experiencessssss... sometimes i wanted to give up in lifee.. lots and lots of time...bt i was fortunate, i didnt let my emotions control meee.. and also im really2 grateful for all the people that was by my side when i was really down.. like my bestie Liyana... even tho we had issues in the past, bt i tink thts part n parcel of frenship.. cant imagine how life wud be like without herr..

Well, what wud you do or how wud you feel if u juz manage to get over someone whom you really love, then u met someone that managed to make u fall for her den hurt ur feelings...haish~ its the most fucked up feeling one cud hav... after 2 bloody years of pain and hurt trying to get over someone in ur past, ure hurt again and again....she came, made a mark on ur life, den walk out on you... it really speak volumes abt tht particular person...

Ws i rushing her? was i demanding too much from her? its a big NO NO! and how do u explain it when they say, they hate their ex for wat they have done.... nt gonna contact him anymore... gonna hate him bla bla bla bla bla.... and now ure back wif that person... why must u even have the thought of lying.. dont lie to urself if u tink that u cant lie to the others... at least, make it sound realistic.. haiyoooo... wont mention names.... go figure

haizz~ u left me dead... really.. *lost for words*

2007-01-09T22:06:00.000+08:00

For the first time today i told her off.. which i felt was a good thing.. I have been wanting to do this all this while but the fact that i pity her, stopped me from doing it.. I cant take it anymore. The way she treats me and making up stories abt me and telling it to her frens. The stories are definitely not true. But i must say, her acting was well planned and well delievered. It really made that friend of hers believe the whole story she made up. But luckily, that friend of hers was smart enough to ask me if wat that girl told that friend is true. i was definitely shocked by the story.. to the extent of having trouble sleeping.. wth?! Aniwae friend, im sorry if i vent my anger at u.. juz dat im so pissed wif her.

I juz cant understand her... when she's lonely,in need of someone or having problems wif her frens,then she would find me.. if not, she will like forget that u even existed...she also has this hard to understand attitude whereby she will throw tantrums and sudden mood swings.. i tried to tolerate with her attitude becoz i noe, as a girl, she will have mood swings.. But what i couldnt believe was that she made up stories abt me! its like a stab in the back. i helped her with loads of stuffs.. giving her advices.. and yet she made up stories about me.. oh great! WELL i guess i had enough of her and decided to tell her off...the best part it, she scolded me back.. she's a good actor arent she.. she can turn the tables back on you and put back the blame on u.. but hell no, im nt gonna give in animore... no more ''giving her face'' or apologising first.. i dun mind losing a ''friend'' like her coz i noe she's not worth that title.. maybe she still hav no clue as to wat ''friends'' mean..

Aniwaes, lets juz drop it.. i had a decent time in school today.. as usual, class is quite boring and dry.. everything is about projects nowadays..sick of it actually.. but what to do, have to work really hard to progress to the next phase.. aiming to go RP to pursue my diploma.. Even tho its stressful today, i was relieved that my ''bestest'' friend sent me a nice msg to cheer me up.. at least it lighten my day a bit. thanks! pity her too coz she was really really2 tired and sleepy..

On a whole... today is a good day, i feel alive again after telling her off..hehe.. thts abt it for today..

Holidays!

2006-12-19T14:47:00.000+08:00

some of the pictures during my short holiday in batam... more will be uploaded sooon...........

Lips of an Angel

2006-12-16T21:24:00.000+08:00

Wanna share wif u guys a very cool song wif very cool lyrics... so here it goes:

Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I,never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me will it start a fight
No, I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I,
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I,
never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(let it die,I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late

Better Than Me

2006-11-30T15:14:00.000+08:00

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you

I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures i took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you

I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end..............................

2006-11-28T22:37:00.000+08:00

back again with another post.. since im so bored todae,decided to write something..
Wahhhh.. tired seh...never felt this tired before. im tied down wif projects till sometimes i feel that i haf no life.. haiz~ Bt atleast i got a chance to destress yesterdae and todae.. for yesterday, went out to chill at marina before heading to bishan ite to watch the women's soccer game.. some of my classmates played..it was their last game, so i decided to give them some support.. congrats to dem.. dey defeated NYP to bring home the crown..haha.. the score is 7-0 if im nt wrong.. yeah..theyre dat good.. =) after the game, walk2 around bishan.. had one hell of a night.. cant stop laughing.. thanks to that fren of mine, yanto ar.. make all sorts of crappy jokes .. but at least it helped me to forget abt all the stress..
As for todae, after class, had to help out for some swimming event in school..myself and 2 other mates was assigned as ''runners''. main duty was to accompany the swimmers to their respective lanes.. it was really an easy job..i pity the rest of my classmates hu had a more tedious job.. while waiting, myself and my buddy hazmi as usual, we talked crap..we played a trick on my other fren idris..it goes like this, he pretended someone called him and asked for that idris... when that guy picked up the fone, we laughed out loud seh..hahah..imagine his face.. how ''paisey'' he was.. it was so fun.. we made fun of some of the swimmers and etc.. it was really fun.. i ended up wif a bad stomachache seh from all those laughing..hehekz.. its been a long time seh..
Tink thats about it for todae.. =)

*feels so good to be in love again*

=)

2006-11-24T22:14:00.000+08:00

Hey there.. finally decided to update my blog.. hehe.. orite here i am again writing my blog..

THese past few weeks have been a hectic week for me.. projects, projects and more projects.. im sick of hearing that word.. can u imagine,4 projects to be submitted by next year..damn! thts a freaking load..im so stressed up wif it that im falling sick due to it.. for the past few weeks,all i did was projects, nothing else.. my weekends are also spent doing projects... and it is also affecting my sleeps and all, really. ive been having bad dreams abt projects, school etc.. i really hope this will end soon..sometimes, i feel like giving up..bt thankfully, i have frens around me who gave me the encouragement to go on.. i even joked wif one of my classmate, ''eh, wanna quit school?'' haha.. yeah to that extent u noe.. When all of these are over, im so gonna enjoy myself.. im gonna go to the beach and scream!! haha..yes, i really think i shud do that.. letting out all those stress and anger..

Recently,SHE came back from KL for her trip.. i was so eager for her return..But things didnt turn out the way i wanted it to.. From i see and from i feel, she's changed into a different person.. she's no longer the person i knew.. when i told her abt how i felt and stuff, i was told off instead.. i really dunnoe wat i should do.. should i really bother? or should i juz leave her alone..maybe i shud give her time.. watever lar eh, i tink i shall juz leave her alone.. i believe its not a good idea to dwell on this matter.. coz it only adds to my burden..

i tink thts abt it for todae..im running short of ideas.. c ya

*when the going gets tough, the tough gets going*

19.10.06

2006-10-19T22:53:00.000+08:00

Dun ask me why i put that date as the title of my blog.. its juz that i have no other ideas wat to name my post for todae.. Okay, as usual, had school and stuff.. it was fun.. finally, i can go to school after its like one mth im at home.. was a total relief.. and least by being in sch, i can kill time, disturb my frens, look at pple.. hehe.. and also study lar.. duh! so todae 19.10.06 was practically a fun dae for me.. went out wif some classmates for breaking fast at geylang.. it was the first time this yr that im doing this.. gosh! we went to arnold's at city plaza.. something really interesting happened dere..but i wont elaborate on that issue.. its nt good to gossip abt pple during the fasting mth..hehe.. orite,so after dat walked around geylang... saw loads of interesting things at the bazaar.. tot of getting another pair of baju kurung for myself... but still having two minds on it.. coz im like so nt in the mood for hari raya this year.. im nt sure why.. den headed back wif linda.. it was fun.. we talked crap..haha..

hrmm..so thts what happend on 19.10.06 basically.. there's more to it actually, but cant be bothered to elaborate on it further..or it'll get boring.. hehs..

Lately, ive been having this dilemma.. haish..its been bothering me for quite some time.. its abt me,a girl and myself.. *names are nt being mentioned to protect the identity of the person* hehe.. aniwaes back to the issue... HAISH! ok i will stop sighing.. but yea, shud i or shudnt i make that move to take her back into my life, after wat happened in the past.. to be really honest.. ive nt forgotten that issue.. im a person who forgives but i dun really forget.. and yar, it concerns matters of the heart.. due to that, i suffered alot... haish.. i tried forgetting her.. but she appeared in my life again.. im really confused rite now.. i dunnoe if i shud go for it or not.. i dun want history to repeat itself..i tink the best thing to do now is for us to juz remain as frens and juz see wat happens.. in my heart and my mind, wats over is over.. no point thinking too much abt it.. i have to try and move on no matter what.. i cant just stay stucked here and show that im weak.. dear god, please help me clear this problem as soon as possible.. i cant go on any longer like dis.. haish.. but truth to be told, im nt interested in having relationships for the time being.. maybe flirting is the best ting for me to do now.. as always..heheh.. kiddings lar.. when im more prepared and have found the right girl for me, which meets my criteria of the cinderella of farhan.. den i'll accept it.. For now, farhan will relak relak one corner, find and at the same time wait for that cinderella of mine..

ok lar, enuff for today.. more post coming up tomorow and for the rest of the days lar aite.. if u have any suggestions as to how i can solve my problems, do tag me..hahaha.. maybe i can find some good aunt agonies out there.. u'll never noe.. bye!

What a wonderful trip...i love aceh!

2006-08-21T21:16:00.000+08:00

Hey there... due to overwhelming demand, i shall write my blog again...hehe.. okay,for now, im gonna talk abt the aceh trip... To be honest, it was the most wonderful trip i have ever been.. Aceh is a fantastic place... Even tho its not as modern as Singapore, im still amazed by the way the pple there lived their lives..

For the first few days there, i was kind of worried and scared.. I guess not only me, but all my frens too ... coz we're basically not mentally prepared n we didnt noe wat to expect there.. When we finally reached Aceh, we were shocked... we were hit by the culture shock syndrome..haha.. yes we are... it was way different than singapore.. its like going back to the past.. its like seeing singapore in the 1960s..haha.. seriously.. its really backward seh... My first experience was to see black, murky water coming out of the tap from my hotel room...gosh that was soo gross.. and the smell of mud... it was really really freaking gross... from that point, i was really worried.. in my mind, all i cud think of was how am i gonna bath and wash myself... but as days goes by, we all got used to it i suppose... we have to right..hehe.. Luckily for me, i had a group of fantastic and wonderful roommates in muzhafar,hazmi,hafiz and lokman.. they juz made my stay dere much much more interesting... And yea, our room was like the focal point for all the guys there.. noe why? because... we were the only room that had TV..haha. but it was fun tho.. all of them come to our room and talk crap all night.. we wud go on laughing our arse off...i miss those days seh... it made us grow closer to each other.. and one thing i like abt this trip was, for the whole 2 weeks, we got to noe each other better and closer.. we wud noe one's bad habit, their temper...etc.. one thing i hate was that some of them are trying to ''kill'' each other by talking bad abt the rest.. it was like childish, to the point that i dun even bother... but to me thats part and parcel of living together...u have to live with one's attitude.. its more of a give and take thingy.. hrmm...there were ups and downs during the trip..

Overall, the trip was wonderful... it was an eye opener for all of us, that some things in life has to be appreciated.. we have to appreciate things we hav here... the pple in Aceh may nt be rich, but they have a rich heart.. i will always remember the pple there...the frens i made and the kids there... :)

2006-06-26T20:56:00.000+08:00

26/6/06..... Today was a very long day for me and my classmates.. we had to go for the first aid course at the SCDF HQ at tampines.. it was a one day crash course for all of us..to prepare us for our aceh trip this coming saturday..yes,its this saturday.. =) So all of us were to meet at the tampines sports hall at around 730 am in the morning,latest 745.. and as you all noe, pple dont usually keep to their promises.. they will come around 750, and even 8 am..we expected dat actually.. hrmm... so i alighted at the tampines interchange to meet rajiv... there, we met hajar and melissa. when we reached the sports hall, there were no one else except us..so we waited and waited and waited for the rest to arrive...the last person to come was at abt 805 am..we were abit pissed off by the latecomings and stuff.. but we had to understand them..some of them had to make their way all the way in the morning from the west..so we didnt say aniting to them...

So we took off from there and reached the the scdf hq at ard 830.. the course started at 9.. the course will be from 9 all the way to 6..haha..yes, very long one indeed..we had to noe everything in one day.. it was very hard for me.. so we learnt first aid, cpr, evacuation stuffs and fire fighting stuff..it was fun..as the presenter of the course was friendly and cool.. there were two of them..one was shane norais and the other one was jayakumar.. but we didnt really like the guy jayakumar.. because he was kind of rude in the way he talked and stuff.. he even scolded an old man in front of all of us juz because he spitted in the dustbin whic had no plastic bag in it.. i noe the old man wasnt suppose to do dat..but cmon, if ure in the right mind, u wudnt have scolded the old man and said that he had mental disorder right.. he even asked the old man to take the dustbin and wash it.. and freak lar, he's only the seargent.. he's like the small fishes among the big ranks officers.. and we really hated his attitude.. we pity the old man.. but we cant do anything..

We learnt alot of great stuffs that we can apply to when we go aceh..and i simply cant wait to go there...5 more days.. but actually im not yet mentally prepared yet to go there... but slowly, it will come..i hope i'll be ready when the day comes.. Thts about it for today.. =)

* i really miss that someone very2 much*

2006-06-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

Finally.....the attachements are FINALLY over!! what a relieve..after 8 weeks of hard work and stress, it is over..my frens and i juz cant wait for it to end.... Hrmm,but to be honest with you, im kinda sad to leave that place..im gonna miss everyting abt the attachments.. having to wake up early...the long bus rides...how i have to fight wif the other people juz to get into the bus.. watching all the people who're goin to werk sleep in the bus..haha.. im sooo gonna miss that.. and of course, im gonna miss my workplace.. my boss..my supervisor.. they're great pple.. pple i will look up to in future and remember always..coz they have given and taught me lots of things.. its something very valuable.. a very valuable experience for me to learn for the future..

So for the last day, i didnt do much..juz had to finish up some paperwork and im done for the day..pretty cool huh? ahaha..indeed it was.. actualli i came to the office an hour late..haha.. last day what..so i decided to slack abit.. cmon, for the past 8 weeks ive been coming on time, give me a break man.... so i reached there around 10 am.. sit on the desk and turn on the comp.. while waiting for the computer to load.. i looked around and told myself how im gonna miss the place soo much...luckily i didnt cry..hahah..im in no mood to be emotional..because the feeling of happiness is more that the feeling of sadness..haha.. actually i dun even noe why i on the comp..because there's simply nothing for me to do dere..so i juz browse thru the comp.. awhile later, my supervisor wants me to drop by the coronation plaza to buy her some stuffs.. so i hopped onto my boss' bike and made my way down to the place.. again,i told myself...i really gonna miss this place so much..

Around 12 plus,my boss told me i can take off.. cool rite, came to work for only 2 hrs plus.. then the moment i love most..he gave me the cheque.. 45o bucks..even tho its not much, but to me, its worth it...the feeling is very very nice.. so,i shook hands with my boss and my supervisor..and bid farewell to them..it was so touching and emotional..now i almost cried.but wat to do ..had to carry on life rite.. as i close the door, i feel so sad..but one thing's for sure, i will bring back the memories i had working with them..it was a great experience..

On the way home,memories juz keep flashing through my mind.... nvm,wats over is over...
Had a meeting at night..i tot its over after the attachments..but actually,more to come.. haiz..so tiring seh... nvm,i'll try no matter wat..wont give up :)

2006-06-23T00:24:00.000+08:00

~continuation of the previous one~

And after washing up, i straight away took off from that place..cant wait..hahah.. took the bus home..slept all the way home..almost missed my stop..hehe.. wen i reached home, i heard my bed calling me..hehe..straight away i jumped on it, and slept til 6 plus in the evening..very tired lah..never felt this tired before..but now i noe how to appreciate bangla more.. the kind of work they do, they deserve the recognition..maybe do an award like ''The best bangla worker'' or maybe ''The most hardworking bangla''..hahaha.. but as for todae, i really had a new experience...

So 1 week plus more to go before flying to aceh..cant wait for that to happen..but at the same time,sad to leave my family and frens.. Im sooo gonna miss you alot when i go there.. =)

2006-06-23T00:09:00.000+08:00

22 june 2006..the day i wont forget..i become a bangla for a day..hahah.. dun get me wrong..its not that i have to sweep the floor or wash the toilet.. but i had to paint the fields.. yes,its fields not field... i had to paint 4 freaking fields..juz for them to play on saturday.. and the best part is, the place is freaking far..at turf city..u imagine lar, woke up damn early...den 45 mins ride from tampines to upper bukit timah...den juz to get to the field, i had to take a cab in.. dun ask me why i didnt walk..because im juz simply lazy..and it will take me another 15-20 minutes to walk in..yes,the place is damn far..i noe.. So when i reached the place, the person i supposed to meet, Kumar, wasnt there..great! so had to wait for another ten minutes..all the bugs are bugging me..maybe they're juz excited to see me..haha.. so after waiting,kumar finally came with his bike..thank goodness.. so i changed to my shorts and t-shirts and walked to the field.. i said to myself, ''this is gonna be a very long day for me''..... so we mixed the paint and started with the first field...it was damn hard i tell u..had to bear the scorching heat, the wet field and the irritating paint..damn,i juz felt like throwing the paint on the field..but dun worry,i didnt do it..haha.. so after we completed 2 fields, we decided to go for a break..i was surprised we didnt took that very long to complete to fields...only and hr plus..i was happy..and i cant wait to finish the other 2..i saw that Kumar very tired..haha..i dunnoe why.. he wants me to go for lunch first..but i dont want..i told him that why not we complete it first then we go eat..hahah.. he juz smiled..i noe he's tired..but i juz want to get it over and done with and call it a day..cant take it animore..cheeky me.. so yeah, we managed to finish it after an hr plus..yes! we were done around 2.. i was so happy dat i shouted..yes,i really shouted..hehe..was very happy.. cant contain the happiness any longer.. and yeah,i was all covered in white pain..trust me, i looked like a bangla. paints all over my face,hands and legs..

What a great day

2006-06-12T12:39:00.000+08:00

What a great day i had yesterday... Firstly,went out wif my fren for a movie.. we watched the movie The Benchwarmers. Really cool show...very funny..we laughed our ass off watching that show..haha.. and during the show itself,i went to the toilet like a couple of times..cannot take it ar..its too cold inside the cinema..haha..but we really enjoyed the show..and yes, farah,u finished the pop corn all by yourself.. =P after the movie ended, we decided to have some fun..so we went to the Tampines Mall. we went to the arcade..there were loads and loads of pple..coz yeah,its a sunday..so its expected..so the first game we played was the racing game..i easily defeated that girl..wahaha.. next up,she challenged me to the hockey game...u noe the air hockey game.. the first time we played,the score was 7-7..even tho i was leading 7-3 at one point in time..haha..she catched up..den we wanted another game. this time u noe wat,i lost..not by 1 or 2 points but a freaking 4 points..damn! the final score was 11-7... damn..i was really shocked wen i saw the scoreboard..and pple were looking at us playing..u imagine how embarrassed i was losing to a girl?hahah..its okay..its part of the game aniwae..one must lose.. But there will be a next time farah..and im gonna kick ur arse when we play that game again..=p So after dat she had to meet her cousin..so i went home. upon reaching home,had to get ready to go to my grandma's house at jurong..its so freaking far..and goodness its raining outside..it was so cold inside the car... hrmm..we spent a few hrs dere and i wanted to go home early coz my fav team was playing yesterday..Holland!! im glad they won even tho it was only 1-0..a win is still a win rite..hehe..so yeah,after dat,chatted for sometime,den watched another game, mexico against Iran..wat a pity to Iran..dey lost 3-1.. hrmm..after the game,smsed my fren liyana..chatted wif her for a while den im off to bed.. wooo..wat a day i had today..it was cool,fun and one of the best days of my life.. =) As for todae,going out again wif liyana to catch a movie again..and maybe chill out somewhere..its been awhile since i met her.. =) den have to rush to sch at around 7 or 7 plus for the aceh meeting..damn! so freaking last minute man...always like dat..blerghh! nvm.. its gonna be another one hell of a day for me again.. =)

2006-06-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

2 more weeks...just two more bloody weeks to the end of the attachments.. :) juz cant wait for it to end. And i believe the rest of my friends cant also wait for it to end. ITs not that i hate the attachments or i hate the company or stuffs like dat.. but i guess im not prepared for the working life...yes i noe its fun getting the pay, but the process that leads to it, its very tiring. BUt still i wont forget the experience, the memories that i had and learnt from the attachment. My boss in particular Mr Bryan and my supervisor Marlina...they were very kind and helped me learn new things. And Thanks for all the things that u gave me aite Mr Bryan..the t-shirts,caps and Tracksuit..hahahah..god bless u pal! hurhurhur..

Okay..so 3 more weeks to the aceh trip.. Honestly, im very sad to leave Singapore..to leave my frens and families...I'll be going there for 2 weeks..BUt at the same time, im very excited to go to aceh...the chance to meet new people,learn new things and experience life whic is much much more basic than wat we have here in Singapore....THe chance to help them improve their standard of living..maybe not much.. Really looking forward to the trip.. And i hope all will go well and i will go and come back to SIngapore safely..... As for now, its gonna be the same thing..work work and work..before flying of to aceh.. =)

Blog back Alive again!

2006-06-10T23:10:00.000+08:00

~Me,Muz and Hazmi working hard during the Milo Asia Swimming Meet~

Hello there again.. yeah i noe..its been a long time since i last updated my blog.. i wont make excuses that im busy..event tho i am with my attachments. But i was juz being plain busy to update them. And now,im back again..hopefully more hardworking..to update my blog more often. so yeah,the first post after almost 6 mths will be coming up..dont worry.it wont be another 2 months before another post..hahahah

Life..

2005-12-31T13:57:00.000+08:00

Sumtimes when i look back...i have one thing to regret.. Not telling the pple i love how i deep my love is for dem...Whether for family..frens or for that special someone... Life has been veri stressful for me these days...Studies...families ...frens... bla3..and the list goes on.. Sometimes i juz wish that i am someone else. Coz being me is veri difficult..have to cope with the demands of the pple hu demands alot from me..whic i cant possibly do in a space of days... i juz need tyme..Pls..give me tyme..and im sure and promised to myself that im gonna prove to those pple hu look down on me..that i can excel like others.. Im veri veri fortunate to have frens hu are always dere for me wen i nid sumone to talk...particularly someone,whom i regard as one of my best fren..the one i will look up to for advices...thanks alot ya fren..ure the reason and the strength for me to carry on wif life..i wont forget ur deeds and wat uve done for me... hrmm..ok done wif this part..

So todae she's coming back from her soccer trip in China...want to fetch her from the airport..but a fren of mine told me he's fetching her.. And the best part is,he doesnt ask me along..sumtimes i juz wonder if he's sincere..he noes i like her..but yet the way he treats her,as tho he likes her... ok..he admits he onli treats her as a fren...a ''sister'' to him.. but if he's realli serious wif wat he says..will go the hassle of fetching her from the airport,buy her stuffs....ok2 watever..i trust u for now bro..but if u were to break the promise u made to me..u noe the consequences... mayb i worry too much..im gonna take things slowly...i will juz look and see... ok lar..enuff for now..

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2005-12-28T19:39:00.001+08:00

Helo again..hahah..2 months passed..and not a single blog entry.. again the same reason... busy lar... went to bangkok for soccer..and busy wif school..u guys shud noe... so juz a short one.. I miss bangkok!!hahah..veri nice place..lots of cheap stuffs too... Miss the tymes spent there...going out veri late at nite..wif nana, nana pendek and mel..haha..u guys were fun... made my shopping easier wif ur comments..especially nana...not pendek..the other nana..hahah.. even tho we lost to the thai team whic were far more superior than us..but we gained sum experience and exposure..thats the most important thing... but seriously!..I MISS THAILAND! i wanna go there again? any1 wanna sponsor?hahaha.. orite..the next entry i will tell u more abt thailand...provided im not busy ar..if not..have to wait another 2 mths before another update..wahahahahah!! =)

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2005-12-28T19:39:00.000+08:00

2005-09-24T22:10:00.000+08:00

Heluu..so this week has been a hell of a week for me..it was all projects,projects and projects..im sick of the word project oreadi..hahaha..basically i spent this whole week completing my projects.. there was the ISS Project and OFA project..if u are wondering wat dat means..ISS means Introduction to Sports Science and OFA means Office Applications..Now im juz left with the OFA thingy..it was such a relieve when the ISS proj is over..i feel like a burden had been lifted..haha..kk enuff of the projects thingy..and guess wat..next week is gonna be another hell of a week.. y? because next week im gonna be veri bz with soccer..the 9 a side tournament is coming up..haiz.. its gonna be a tiring week man..its a 2 day tournament..and i bet there's gonna be lots and lots of matches waiting for us..but nvm..we're gonna try our best to win it..haha..chey.. as for todae..i went for a seminar with a group of my classmates..at changi hospital..the seminar was on sports injuries..good seminar..learned lotsa stuffs.. hrmmm..so i guess thats abt this..short and sweet..hahakz..

2005-09-18T17:50:00.000+08:00

holla!! ..haha..so im back again...with a bang..with a new blog skin..hahakz.. still preferring to use skins my khairul..donnoe y..to me they're cool and nice.. so to all my peeps out there..sorry for not updating it for close to 2 mths..as usual..busy with school..been having a hectic schedule lately..classes that often finish late and also soccer matches..my apologies..so guys..anyting juz drop a taggie in my tag board..i realli appreciate it ya..so i'll try to constantly update my blog from now on..ok guys..gotta go...so check out my new blog..and enjoy it..hahakz..k chiaoz!

2005-07-27T21:05:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah..halooo again...its been a long long time since i updated my bloggie...haha..almost a month plus aite.. sorry ah guys..im kinda bz with skool..alot of commitments ah now..chey..like real oni.. hrmm.nevermind..so wat happened in skool todae.. nutin realli interesting.. besides the soccer match that i had between my class and the other class.. Im soooo happy coz we made it through to the semi-finals of the tournament...congrats to all my teammates who had put in lotsa efforts.. ok enuff abt that..dun wanna brag abt it so much... so hrmm..yeah..broke up with her alreadi..cannot take her damn bloody attitude anymore..her ego..all that kind of stuffs. watever..!!! aniwae,she's already nutin in my life anymore..juz history.. im gonna treat as if nutin happened between me and her.. treat as if i'd not known her..thats the best..coz i think there's no point in me waiting and loving her when she herself is not doing the same thing..she's juz trying to play me out..toying around with pple's feelings...bagos lah tu eh..amalkan selalu.. ok watever..to hell with that issue.. so yeah..i guess thats all abt it.. sape2 terase kat sane mintak maaf lah bnyk2..juz wanna let out ma feelings..juz angry over wat happened..klw nak marah2, as if i care..its my blog wat..i can do and write anyting i want with it... ok2..i knoe im being cruel..but hey, lets see the bigger picture..she hurt me thrice..issent it fair? i guess not. .. ok lah.. i tink im off now...chiaoz!!

2005-06-19T19:55:00.000+08:00

Yeah..im back again..didnt write for so long coz im kinda lazy to update.. So yeah,im back again now..hrmm..dis past week has realli been one hell of a week..its becoz,i was hit three times on the head..first was the tree..remember?? then during rugby training and one more on the same day with a stupid ball..gosh..but the worst was the one during rugby training..kk let me tell u wat happened..I went to my old school to help train my juniors..anyway,i got lotsa tymes at home,so i decided to kill off some time with the training..but gosh,how i wished i didnt go for the training..coz i suffered a deep cut on the back of my head..all because i was trying to tackle this big sec 1 guy..not that big lah..but big for a sec 1..hahaha..i slipped and fell and my head hit the drain..Ouch!! but wat's surprising was that i managed to stand up..i didnt feel dizzy..but i got a shock when i touched the back of my head..it was covered with blood..loads of it..hahah..but it was fun..i was brought to the office and a teacher brought me to the nearby clinic..my head had to be stitched..!! my gosh!!.. luckily the stitching process wasnt that painful..but i got a shock when i took a look at the bill..$78..hahaha..i sure dont have that lots of money..luckily my teacher was dere..i juz smiled and looked at him..hahaha..pity him..kk lets forget abt this whole thingy..yesterday,i went to bugis..and i bought a new Freshbox tee for myself..sooo happy man.h.ahah..i dunnoe y..im so like gonna buy 2 or 3 more of that Freshbox tee..they're juz so nice..ok2..im getting crappy here..tomoro's my ferst day at sch..so eager and anxious to meet new frens..ok then..so im off now..no more ideas as wat to write..chiaoz!

2005-06-09T20:08:00.000+08:00

Holla yeah!! im back again..how are u guys todae.?? im fine thank u..hahaha..kk i'll cut the crap.. So todae as usual i woke up around a10 plus after constant nagging by my mum..gosh..its still early rite i knoe..but wat to do..dun wanna get splashed by water by my mum..haha..ok.then do the normal routine..bathe,breakfast and make my bed..then after that i on the comp and went online..and there's onli like 3 or 4 pple online..gosh.are they still in bed?? hrmm..nvm,then i updated my blog..GEeE!! many pple tagged at my blog..hahaha..ok then my dearie called me..then i went off to fetch her frm skool and send her home..then sumtin realli embarrassing happened..darn! im so not gonna forget abt this incident.Ok2 let me tell u guys wat happened.. i was walking and talking with my dearie..then i didnt notice this tree whic is kinda low..then..i knoe u guys guessed it oreadi..i banged into it..gosh!! it was so painful man..i was cursing the tree after dat..my dearie was laughing..it was so cute..hahah..juz feel like pinching her cheek..ok watever..thats so embarrassing i noe..luckily oni me and my dearie saw the stupid incident.. after sending my dearie home,i went home..upon reaching home,i changed and went out again..gosh..tiring seh..im going to the movies to watch madagascar..again!! i knoe..haha..but nvm,i dont mind watching it a hundred times..coz the show rawks..I like to move it move it!! hahaha..ok..so i met my sis at the dhoby ghout mrt station..(is that the wright spelling??) ahhaha..pardon me if im wrong..i forgot how to spell it.. then we walked frm the mrt station to the Plaza Singapura..damn! the shopping mall is damn damn big..bigger than TM..haha..as if ive never seen a shopping centre..hahah..k2..den took the escalator to level 7 instead of the lift..i knoe its stupid..but dunt blame me..the lift was full..so upon reaching there,we took the 240 show..we were kinda late coz we arrived there at ard 250..nvm..we juz went it..but damn it..stupid pple..took our seats..so we went down..my eyes were so painful man..it was so near..nvm..wats impt,i enjoyed the show..hahah..after the show ended,we walked2 ard the mall..cool man..lotsa stuff ..feel like buying evrytin..nvm,im gonna go there again next time..den went home after dat..when reach home,i went straight for my bed..gosh..damn tired..then on comp..online online..so thats it..wat a tiring dae..tomoro's gona be another hell of a day..haha..chiaoz!!

2005-06-07T19:38:00.000+08:00

Hell yeah! im back again..yeah!! i got a new skin for my blog..its called iDarth Vader blog..hahah.. cool rite the skin? wat attracted me to this blogskin is basically the colour orange and black..whic are two of my most favourite colours..when two of these colours,they look good.they make a good combination..and another thing whic attracted me was the darth vader hearing the iPod..cute isnt it..hahaha..and the most interesting part is..i changed the skin all by myself..my first attempt..no help frm my fren,except for the music,i got help frm atiqah..thanks dude.. hrmm..so yeah,it was a success..and a new skin for my blog.. ok im gonna stop bragging abt this this..So todae i woke up around 10 plus,got a shock coz i overslept.i promised my fren azhar to go to school to take the O's cert but i overslept..hahaha..and guess wat, natasha was in school!! gosh! i missed the opportunity to meet her..darn! blame it on me...haiz.. so the day was as usual..boring and dull..juz cant wait for skool to start in 1 week time..counting down the days man...then around 2 plus,my dearie called me on my hp..i so the miss her veri much..hearing her voice makes me miss her even more..haha..nvm,im gonna meet her on fri..nutin to worri.. Ermm..so thats abt it..i knoe its kinda short coz i didnt write for almost 1 week..nvm..more to come..so thats abt it..chiaoz!

2005-06-01T19:52:00.000+08:00

heluu..ok so im back..todae is a veri tiring dae for me..played soccer again with rafi and amir..met them at the court around 4..i was late.i was supposed to mit them at 3.30..haha..nvm..janji melayu pe..when i arrived,rafi was already playing..then they wanted to play at the hockey court next to the street soccer as it was bigger and there were already lotsa pple..so we divided ourselves into two teams of ten person each..cool man play with them..they're all big boys in the 20's and me,rafi and amir are juz 17..they played veri nice and superb football..fast and furious i shud say..but they're supporting..not like all those mats..this grp of guys played professionally..chey..haha..i was happy coz i scored one against them..its not pathetic coz they're much much bigger in size..i tink twice..even though im abit taller(self praising) but their body is bigger..alot of times,i was pushed away by them..haha..nvm,scoring a goal is an achievement for me..ok,i noe i shud stop bragging abt this coz its onli one goal..yeah2 watever..but when the second half started,i was already tired coz i ran my hearts out during the first half..haha..nvm..so after that around 545,went home..cannot take it anymore..too tired..then went home,bathe,on tv..den on comp and chat2 until now.. Yesterdae was fun too..i get to meet her..best seh..she always make me smile..its been quite a long time since i meet her..she juz make me happy ah..ok i guess thats about it..cannot write too long,coz its personal..hahaha..so im off..chiaoz!!

2005-05-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

Haluu..back again..todae woke up around 7 plus in the morning and got ready for my religious class..hate to wake up early in the morning..especially on sundays..while others are still in bed,i have to force myself to go to the religious class..but atleast my mum prepared a nice breakfast..yummy yummy..then around 8 plus headed to the bus stop with my bro..and took bus no 23..it was packed. Mainly indians..i dunnoe y there's lots of them coz its a sunday rite..dont tell me they have to work even on sundays..nevermind..so reached there almost nine..today is the last paper for my religious class exams..and u bet,i didnt study a thing for it..cool huh..hahaha..i tink its not a big deal coz my other two frens sitting beside me didnt study too..coz they said the book was hard to understand..is it a lame or acceptable reason?hahaha..many pple complained that the book is hard to understand too..so i guess its acceptable..so the test started..to my surprise,the questions were easy,didnt have a hard time to answer it..but most of it,i used my common sense...no book answers..again..cool huh?hahaha..my other two frens were still struggling with it..dunnoe y..but the last question was hell for me..it was an essay question..wahlau..they expect us to write 200 words..gosh!! as if i have all the facts to write in that essay..nvm,i juz said to myself,write anytin whic comes to my mind..i dun even noe wat i was scribbling on that piece of paper..then around 10 plus i finished the paper..actualli the paper was to last until 11..but i finished early and didnt bother to check..coz i noe im writing shit in it..so y bother rite..hahaha..ok..so after walk to the bus stop to wait for the bus..no mood to hang around coz im so the veri tired and sleepy..on the way home,on the bus, i saw this grp of indians..there were lots of them..but im not sure wat's the occasion..so me and bro juz look in ''amazement'' at wat was going on..after 20 mins,we finally reached home..decided to go to a shop to buy water..i bought this soya bean in a glass bottle..the problem is,i couldnt open the bottle cap..then me and my bro was trying so hard to open it like a bunch of idiots..hahah..we even joked around with it..hahaha..it was fun..at last,i juz have to wait until i reach home to open it..then around 3 plus when to whitesands shopping mall..juz walk2 around nuting to do..den buy the kaya bread frm ya kun..so nice sia..yummy yummy..den after dat walk2 and headed home..watch armegeddon on channel 5 ..cool show..sad ending..den on comp..and chat2..so thatsa about it..chiaoz..

2005-05-26T14:34:00.000+08:00

Holla again...so i guess u guys read wat i wrote earlier rite? ok or not?? hahaha..i hope it is..it was specially dedicated to her.. Hope she'll read it.. ok2 now i shall begin proper... Hrmm..wat a dae it was todae..Liverpool Won the CHampions LeagUE!! HUrraH!!..COngrats to Steven Gerrard and gang..Wat impressed me abt this liverpool team was their never-say-die attitude and they never stop fighting till the very last minute..OK..so i woke up around 2.40 to watch the game..perfect tyme..the match had just kicked off..SUddenly,AC Milan scored in the veri first minute..i was soo shocked..but i was confident liverpool will be back..but gosh! Hernan Crespo scored two goals to send liverpool 3-0 down in half time..i tot the game was well over for liverpool..coz its impossible to come back frm 3 goals down to win the Cup..unless a miracle happen..Then the second half started..And Steven Gerrard and Smicer scored to put LIverpool back into the game..i was jumping for joy..now the score is 3-2..and then the unexpected happened..liverpool won a penalty..although Xabi Alonso's shot was saved,but his second shot was into the back of the net..YEAH!!! now its 3-3..and game ON! i have to be honest,Jerzy DUdek was superb..the liverpool goalkeeper..he saved a point blank shot frm shevchenko to deny milan the win..then came the penalty shootout..it was nerve-wrecking..i was on the edge of my sit..i couldnt sit still...and again..dudek was the hero..saving two penalties..and it was game over for AC Milan..i was shouting and jumping to celebrate liverpool's win..and its still 5 plus in the morning..hahaha..crazy of me..but im too happy..move over milan..LIverpool are the kings of Europe..yeah! superb,magnificent,astonishing display by liverpool..and they'll be remembered in history in years to come..im sure..hahaha..im gonna continue celebrating..to all milan fans..sorry man..it didnt work out for u guys..That 6 minutes of madness killed ur team..muahahaha.. ok2 i guess thats abt it..to those hu dont understand a shit abt wat im talking abt..then let me sum up..Liverpool won AC Milan in the champions league finals..get it now? hahaha..i knoe im exaggerating..but hu cares..Liverpool won..and thats the most important thing...hahaha..ok2..so im off now..LONG LIVE LIVERPOOL!!!

2005-05-26T14:13:00.000+08:00

Im only human
Sometimes i make mistakes
If you forgive me
im gonna do what it takes

But now i know better
To hurt you was wrong
Girl its with you i belong

Somebody needs you
Like never before
SOmebody wants youR Love
SO open the door
DOnt you leave me alone
Dont you turn out the light
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you tonight

I've been thinking
We should be talking it through
You must believe me
I'll make it up to you

Cause now i Know better
To hurt you was wrong
Girl its with you i belong

In the dark
When there's no one else around
I still pray
That our love can be found~~~

Specially for Natasha....

2005-05-24T12:50:00.000+08:00

orite..so back again todae..hrmm..let me sum up wat happened on Sundae..basically on that day,in the morning,went to my religious class..then went home..before heading to the airport to fetch my bro hu had juz came back frm overseas..had a great tyme with my cousins there at the airport..one of my cousin kept laughing at this man whu wears a stupid cap..haha..i cant stop laughing..and another thing that makes us luff our ass out was beacuse of this man,hu juz couldnt stop digging his nose..and the disgusting part abt it was,after he digged it,he wiped it on his pants and then used the same finger to dig his ear..my gosh!! isnt that disgusting..i almost puke man..hahah..then after dat,went home..and all my cousins went back to my home..my bro bought for us lotsa of stuffs..haha..now i juz couldnt wait for my sis to come back frm overseas this july..i bet she'll have much more things for us..hahaha..ok so thats sunday..and now monday..it was vesak day and in the morning,i didnt go out..but juz watch tv..then around 3 plus,headed for the street soccer court as usual with my frens..and guess wat..i saw natasha..i was soo happy..haha..dunnow y..mayb i miss her alot..coz its been a while since i met her..after soccer,headed home..then bathe and on the comp..talk with the crazy gangs..ath,faez and diy..they're juz crazy..but its realli fun talking to them..then around 9 plus i went with my parents to JB..den during our journey there,i found out that my passport had already expired..haha..it was so sucky..then my dad suggested me and my bro wait at woodlands for a while..and u bet,its not a while..the wait took us almost 2 hrs..me and bro lepak lepak at the coffeshop nearby..after dat,we walk and walk and explore the area..it was fun..then we talk cork and luff luff like crazee pple..hahaha..it realli was a crazy nite for me and my bro..but its good coz its been a while since me and bro hang out together..finally after almost 2 hrs of waiting,my dad finally came..i was so relieved..then we headed to Mustaffa centre..coz thats the onli 24 hrs shopping centre..there,i saw this iPOD mini whic cost around 300 plus..i realli liked it alot..and im gonna buy it..i will!! hahah..its realli nice..i like.. ok so i guess so thats abt it for sunday and monday.. i'll write again...chiaoz!

2005-05-20T15:32:00.000+08:00

haluuu..im back again..i didnt rite for the past 2 days coz i got no ideas mah..hrmm..ok so now im writing..i got no ideas actualli..so i juz rite lah.since i got nutin to do at home..so todae i woke up as usual around 10 plus after constant nagging by my mum..nyahaha..i was still in the mood for sleep coz i had a nice dream..but i couldnt remember exactly wat it was..but i knew it was fun.. weird rite?? nvm..den had my breakfast and after dat watched tv..it was so boring so i watched cartoons,cartoons and cartoons..nyahaha..fun wat..relieve the childhood days..ok...then around 12 plus i got ready for fridae prayers and around 1245,headed for the bus stop..then i saw my fren magg(faiz)..he wanted to go to marrybrown to meet tots(fadz) and ferrozy..wat surprises me was,he did not know where marrybrown was located..gosh! hahah..so i went with him to mb( marrybrown) and decided to lepak with them for a while..den at mb,got students frm my ex school..guess they must be sec 1's..and my gosh..we juz cudnt stand their behaviour..they like act pretty sia..like wat we always say ''step jambu siol" and wat atiqah will say..''menyampah sampah seh aku'' nyahaha..but its true..i hate their attitude man..then we talk2 bad abt them lah..one of them had a flat face..nyahaha..i knoe its bad for us to do that..but hu ask them to behave that way..serves them rite...then around 1 plus we headed for the mosque..i noe its kinda late..but hu cares..we decided to met alfri..on our way..dat 'bulu' (azhar) called tots..then we got irritated with that bulu and we shouted at him on the phone..nyahaha..den on our way we juz talk cork..luff luff like crazee pple..hahaha..but it was fun..at least we didnt step jambu..wahaha.. then when reached the mosque,tots wanna poo..den he and magg headed for the sports hall to do his business..hahah..me and alfri went straight ahead..when we reached there,the prayers had already started..and we were rushing.we had to pray outside the mosque at the field..its kinda itchy but hu cares..its onli for a while rite..then after dat,fadz,magg and ferrozy headed for their school while me and alfri headed back..alfri went to our ex school for band prac..on our way home,we talk talk abt how we missed secondary school life all that stuffs..haiz..i realli miss those days..so i guess thats abt it..hahaha..so long rite..i dunnow lah..the ideas juz keep coming out..so i juz write wat comes to my mind..ok so now im off for soccer match..see ya later dudes..!! chiaoz!!

2005-05-17T19:17:00.000+08:00

hollaz..im back again..its been a while since i undated my blog rite..yeah..hmm..last week was basically soccer soccer and more soccer for me..hahah..i was soo blardy damn tired.dats y i didnt update my blog..Yesterdae i played soccer again and there's a big possibility im playing again tomoro..hahaaha..i noe u guys must be saying havent u had enuff of soccer?? well i havent..coz soccer is my passion and i wont get bored playing it even if its everydae..but yesterdae was fun..my team stayed on for 5 games..we were unbeaten for 5 games..thats sumtin good rite..thankiu thankiew..haha..but after the fifth game,we decided to stop coz we cannot take it anymore..we're juz too tired to carry on..can u guys imagine..5 games straight without a single break..its damn tired man..Faarisi,noe wat,u shud have been there man..our team were juz great..we defeated that stupid Mats team..stupid team..full of egos..thinking they're soo good..when we defeated them,they were so 'paisey' that they walked of the court and played in the other court with other smaller boys..hahaha..c'mon lah u stupid jerks..pick sumbody your own size..no point bullying small kids and trying to show off ur skills to them..coz u guys are doing the most stupid thing..hahaha..but wat im so pissed off with them was that they always commented on our style of play..they said we played slow lah..this lah that lah..blah blah blah..hey if u guys are damn good,why cant u guys beat us..morons..and i dont like this guy with the stupid tail on the back of his hair..he looks like shit to b honest..hahaha..k2..im being mean.. stop2..hrmm..u knoe wat,im realli in a big dilemma man..i dunnoe which one to choose..either her or her..the first gerl,i dunnoe if i can get her and IF i get her..i dunnoe if she's serious about relationship and stuffs.. and the second gerl,i dunnoe if she'll do the same thing to me like she did like tyme..im juz scared that she'll break my heart again for the 3rd tyme..i juz dunnoe wat to do..nvm..i'll juz leave it to fate..let fate decide..haiz..orite..im gonna stop here for todae..chiao sin chi!

2005-05-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

hello again..so im back again..ok2..todae so bored at home..so i watched like two movies..haha..flubber and another one is 2 fast 2 furious..nice movie man..with all the fast cars..woo!! how i wish i can own them one dae..k.after watching all those movies,i turn on the computer and chatted with my skewl buddies..mainly my juniors frm my ex school..fun seh talk to them..talk crap..complain2 abt exams all that stuffs..pity them..have to spend their tyme for the books..while i can like sit around and slack all dae..hahaha..isnt it great..once in a while,ure free frm all those exams..dey get jealous over it mind you..hahaha..during chatting,i talked with my buddy faarisi and we planned to play soccer..ask along a couple of peeps to join us..den around 4.30,i went off and headed straight for faarisi's house..and he still havent get out frm his house..darn..hahah..so i waited for him for quite a while..den after dat,headed straight for the street soccer court..there were hell lot of pple down there..most of them MATs...so juz got on with the game..played lotsa games..but this particular grp of boys r not happi with our team..they said we played rough..c'mon..soccer is a physically demanding game wat..cant they juz take it..its part and parcel of soccer rite..sissy seh..push them a lil bit,they're furious..like we did sumtin bad..stupid sia..next tyme,if u guys cannot get hit a bit,den dont fucking hell play soccer..go and play some other games..play marbles or wat..stupid..see..im getting mad for no reasons..but lotsa tymes,when they tried to intimidate me,i juz smiled at them..ahaha..guess they're frustrated..im so happy to see their frustrated faces..stupid idiotic freakin morons..my fren faarisi almost blewed up man..but i ask him to maintain his composure..no point blowing up..coz its gonna create hell lots of problems..y cant they juz get on with the game and stop complaining abt roughness..freaking morons..feel like kicking their legs seh..nvm..to hell those sissy,shitty blardy farking idiotic moronic morons...wau,im getting good at all these words..hahah..k2 enuff abt it..so den when reach home,chat again..then got this gerl,wanna treat me..hahaha..happi seh..coz i help her burn her cd..hahaha..k2..enuff..im gettin crappy again..so im gonna end here todae..bye bye

2005-05-08T21:52:00.000+08:00

hey yo...Im back again..hmm..todae..i woke up around 7plus,bathe and get ready for my religious class..haiz..it was raining and it was cold..how i wished i could continue sleeping..gosh! it wud be realli nice..nvm..walked out and headed to the bus stop..my gawd,my umbrella broke...wahaha..so juz hack care and walk towards the bus stop with the broken umbrella..how embarrasing..pple were all looking at me..haha..then got in the bus..and my gawd..setupid bus driver..on the aircon so low..it was sooo damn blardy cold and i was like shivering seh..wat the hell..the journey took me around 20 minutes..imagine the moment of torture..sitting in that damn blardy cold bus...when i reached the destination,whic is at newton circus..got off and breathed a sigh of relief..no more torture..haha..im gonna hate that driver..hahaha..stupid shitto.. in class,evrybody was like sleeping..then as the lessons goes on..i didnt pay attention..my mind wandered off...the teacher talked veri slow and it made me realli bored..then during the second period..i got sleepy and decided to sleep..and gosh,i sleep all the way through the lesson..and its one solid hour of sleep..hahah..i was kinda shocked that my teacher didnt even ask me to wake up..hahah..so good of him...den i juz couldnt wait for the last period to end..wen it ended,finally...and quickly packed my bag and rushed out of the class..another torture..BOREDOM..hahah..it was still drizzling outside..but i didnt want to experience the embarrassment again..so i juz walked briskly to the Newton MRT station..waited for quite a while b4 i boarded the train..it was crowded..and man,i can see lots of pple with diff kinds of behaviour..i juz hacked care with them and my mind wandered off again...den when i reached home,my parents ask me out..gosh..didnt dey knoe that im tired..but nvm,since its a mothers' day....so we went to East Coast...we ate and ate..and later 'lepak' at the east coast beach..its kinda fun and relaxing..den watching all the cute little boys and gerls playing with sand..hahah..then flashbacks came to my mind..i was like dat before..playing with sands and making sand castles..hahaha..fun rite..if onli i can go back to old times..being a small kid again..isnt it fun.no problems and no stress...den my mum suggested we go to Changi Airport coz she wanna watch the aeroplane take off at the viewing mall..gosh..of all places,there?? nvm,since its mothers' dae,give chance ah..hahaha..when we reached there,gosh,the first place i search was the blardy toilet..my bladder almost burst man..hahaa..gross..i knoe.. den went to the viewing mall and watch the airplanes...after that,we go for dinner..den headed straight home..coz i was complaining of tiredness..haha..hrmm..at home..nutin to do..chat chat chat and chat...and i eat again.gosh im alot nowadays..dunnoe y..frust mayb..relieve stress and trying to forget sum1..haha...(stupid thing to do..i knoe) when can i see that gerl again..its been a while since we met..hrmm..eh am i missing her??aiyoh..me ar..knock my head then i know..hahaha..but its not a sin to miss her wat..hehe..k2..enuff of my craps..wait..i miss u gerl..hahaha..k2 stop..so thats all folky molky..goodie nitey..bye bye!

2005-05-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

im back again..haiz..todae was another boring dae..went to fridae prayer..and gosh it rained heavily.and i was all wet..but its fun to sit in the rain sumtimes..ahaha..k stop it..when i reach home,i took a nap juz to kill tyme..then i woke up and headed for the television..my mum was watching the live telecast of the late president's cremation ceremony..so i sat down and watched it too..fuh..The former president of Singapore,Dr Wee Kim Wee must have been realli a great person..even though i did noe much about him when he's the president..but ive heard lots and lots of good stories abt him..many people called him the pple's president because of his warm and friendly personality..my father once told me he was invited to Dr Wee's house..it was because..my dad escorted him for the national dae i tink..my dad was a traffic police officer..i feel that this is realli a good way for Dr Wee to get more close to his fellow citizens..frm his face i can see that he's realli a nice person..how i wished i can meet him and get to knoe him better..many pple cried when they heard abt the death of Dr Wee..i guessed he must have left a great impact on Singapore and the citizens..k enuff abt it...after watching it...i continued to sleep again..hahah..den i woke up..and turned on the computer..haiz..i got to know sumtin bad..that gerl is alreadi attached to a guy..it realli hurt me alot..its like..at once,she said all those nice nice things..den suddenly she stead with sum1 else..its like stabbing my heart..i juz feel that she's toying around with my feelings..i was almost in tears when she said that to me..haiz..it juz hurts me when i found out abt this..i realli cant understand life...i mean..evrytime when i helped sumone,cared for sumone,loved sumone...they'll either backstab me or hurt me..isnt life cruel?? haiz..nvm..watever it is gerl,thanks for evrything..and hope ure happi with who ever u are with now..i dunnoe wat else to sae..i guess i'll end here.

2005-05-05T13:21:00.000+08:00

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.
The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow?
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is my fame;
I hear my name spoken,
And share in its shame.
They name you before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes over me?
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew you,
Who knew you too well:-
Long, long shall I rue you,
Too deeply to tell.
In secret we met?
In silence I grieve
That my heart could forget,
My spirit deceive.
If I should meet you
After long years,
How should I greet you??
With silence and tears.

*Specially to the person i realli love*

2005-05-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

SOME THINGS IN LIFE JUZ DONT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!!!

2005-05-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

yeah im back again...firstly..im sooo happi..so the veri happi..noe why?? because Liverpool defeated Chealsea in the champions league semi final...WOoOO!!! happi seh..its not that i dun like them or wat..but they're beginning to b a team full of egoistic players..And especially their manager Jose Mourinho..fancy calling himself the special one..wat the toot man..hahahkz..hey Mr Mourinho..next season,ur team will crumble juz like how Man Utd and Arsenal did..And Liverpool will triumph next season..juz look at all the players liverpool has..and their manager..they're good..k2 enuff about this Liverpool,Chelsea thingy..wait2..Liverpool..u juz rock ah dude...!!hahaha..k stop2..now comes to the sad part of my dae todae..i fought with her..haiz.. dont wanna talk abt it..juz dun wanna rake it up again..but i juz cant understand my life..y issit dat,when i love a gerl..they'll juz walk out of my life..?? im realli being sincere with them..but it turns out otherwise..haiz..nvm..this is life..watever it is,im nt gonna let this thing take me down and affect me both physically and mentally..what's there to be so sad about..there's lots and lots of other gerls out there who r much much better..k2..im getting crappy here..hahah..wateva lah..im juz gonna carry on with life..no matter how tough it is..and btw diyana,ure the best fren indeed..there's no one else like u..ure indeed the special one..and ure also a fren to die for..uve been there for me no matter wat..ure the best!! and u too faarisi..k then..i'll end here..

2005-05-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

holla..back again..hrmm..wat am i gonna write todae..about wat i wrote yesterdae,dont get the wrong the idea aite..im juz expressing my feelings on how i felt abt the breakup thingy..nuting more than that..Noe wat,sumtimes a person can make u forget a person u once cant forget..(wat am i talking..haha..nvm..if u understand..than thats good enuff) k back to the topic...its kinda strange..we both good chemistry..i mean we can click..we share lots and lots of similarities...and as tymes goes by..that feeling develops..i guess u noe wat, rite..i juz enjoy her company and im always looking forward for her presence..she juz makes me happy seeing her..even though we havent meet up juz yet,which we will(i hope so)...but i can feel that she's special to me..gosh..i donnow how to explain my feelings towards her to u guys..but wat can i sae is that i realli like her..i realli am..wooOoo...im getting mushy here..i knoe..i guess the gerl which i mention here,who read this,will understand wat im talking abt..rite gerl? ;) orite..i'll end it here for todae..chiaoz!

2005-05-01T17:45:00.000+08:00

Holla...im back again..kinda busy lately..so didnt have time to spare for this blog..actualli im nt that busy..but nutin interesting happened..so i got nutin to write..hahaha..so todae is Labour Day..but still i got religious class..GOsh! did they forget that its a holidae..so i woke up around 7.30 and bathe and change into my baju kurong..intially,i was thinking of nt attenting..mayb ''cabot'' or wat..but i decided nt to do so..dun ask me y..its juz sudden..haha..after my religious class ended around 12.30,i went home..and gosh its damn hot..im black sum more..haha..serves me rite..i took a bus home..and thoughts came flashing through my mind..lots of it..Shud i choose her and all that stuffs..haiz..but can gurls b trusted??its not always guys who break pple's heart..but gerls too rite..nvm..wat dat gerl did to me was unacceptable..after all the promises she made,after all the things i gave and spent for her...bknnye nak berkire lah..but they way she broke my heart was realli.......disgusting..doenst she know that i realli love her?? and now,im beginning to question myself,am i being stupid or wat by sacrificing my tyme,effort and money for her..is she realli worth my evry effort???its nt that i hate her now,but once sum1 did that to u,it'll be difficult to forgive that person rite..it'll take months..sumtimes years b4 u can forget everything..ah..watever lah..its over aniway..no point wasting my tyme and life thinking abt this..its history anyway..k lah i guess i'll end here for todae..more to come..

2005-04-28T22:37:00.000+08:00

Gosh! todae is nothing but another boring dae for me..nutin interesting happened to me..i spent most of my tyme on the computer,tv or sleep..i want to go out,but i dunnoe where to go..haiz..im realli counting down the days for school to start coz i cant stand it anymore..sitting at home doing nothing..school's gonna start around 20 june..and gosh its still like 1 mth plus to go..it feels like one year!! gosh!! watever lar..i guess dats all abt it for todae...haiz..so boring..

2005-04-27T22:31:00.000+08:00

holla...yeah..im back again...todae i played soccer again..this tyme we played at my beloved skool..junyuan sec..haha..initially i was shocked cos our opponents was a sec 5 team..wat im shocked abt is because,my team is mainly guys frm the sec 2s..im like their imported player with faarisi and some other guys frm upper sec to help with their team..even though our team played badly during the match last saturdae,but i must sae todae,our team was impressive..even though we lost 5-4,but they put up an encouraging and impressive performance..salute u guys..but i guess losing by that score is nt bad at all..coz my team is facing an opponent whic is muuch2 better in quality and have lots of talents..but talents alone will nt guarantee u a win..wat's important is team work and a never-say-die attitude...k2 lets stop about this soccer thingy..hrmm..after the soccer match,i got home..bathe and on the comp..and guess wat,she's there..wooohoooo!! so happi sehh..as usual,we talked and talked..had fun chatting with her..and gawd..we confessed sumtin..wooohooo!! sooo happi..i bet i wont be able to sleep todae..hahah.. then we stopped chatting around ten plus coz she have sumtin to do..dont sleep late k..tomoro u have skool..hehe..im getting naggy here..haha..k lah,i admit im gettin abit crazee here..haha..k b4 i get more crappy,i'd better be off..so good nite...chiaoz!

2005-04-26T22:10:00.000+08:00

yeah...im back again...hrmm..todae is another boring dae for me..its the same routine evrydae for me for the past 3 mths..wake up,bathe,breakfast,go shop buy newspaper,den watch tv and play computer games...isnt that boring??? yes it is..im rotting at home..i realli am..argh!! how i wished im skooling rite now..at least im nt this bored.ive never felt so much boredom in my life.. haiz..nevermind..but todae i gotta chat with her again..and i tell u its realli funny and ''gerek'' ah when i chat with her kat msn..we will go on talking about our past experiences whic is veri funny and will make us luff our ass off..sumtimes we'll debate about guys and gerls stuff..i suck when it comes to debating with gerls...they always win seh...haha..nvm..i'll work on my weakness..to be honest,she's realli special to me. she's like the light that shines in me which gives me the strength and courage to carry on with life after sumtin bad happened to me nt too long ago..ouh gosh! im getting emo here..but its true wat..hrmmm...guess dats about it for todae..more to come tomoro...

2005-04-25T20:18:00.002+08:00

hey there im back again...hmmm..juz got back frm soccer training..gosh its realli a tiring training..and my injury is back..ouh gosh..and i got this scar on my hip..so painful seh..*ouch* takpe lah..i have to face it like a true man..hahahah...k lah..im gonna stop here b4 i get more crappy..haha..chiaoz!

2005-04-25T20:18:00.001+08:00

2005-04-25T15:11:00.000+08:00

heylo...juz looking around for cool blog skins..but so far i havent found any..but nevermind..im gonna look around for more cool blog skins..hrmm..todae is kinda boring..nutin to do at home..luckily one of my friends called inviting me to play soccer with them..thats a relieve actualli..hahah..at least i can kill all the boredom..coz im rotting at home..nutin to do..argh!!! wateva..k..im off for soccer...chiaoz